can't fence the pence

*** u dad I was the Michael Phelps of your ballsack.

NiBBa

That's what I am doing wrong since my first birthday.

When your friends use inside jokes and you are the only one who doesn't get em.

in a scale of 1-10, how enlightened are you?

I also tracked all my son's first words since birth

You wanna keep talking shit? Alright

I am not the only one! :D

No traffic like incoming traffic

It's not rape if they're dead, right?

What do i do.

See how this guy treated his hoarse voice. Click here you won't believe it

Russia's Secret Weapon

Remember kids, dabbing kills germs.

If you can't find your book

He has his mothers eyes..

Annakek

Local veterinary clinic with the dad joke

Marlilyn Manson these days looks like a fat Professor Snape.

Tonight on How It's Made...

Smooth criminal

Kids be like!

Our IT guy just sent us a picture of him in his youth. Some people are destined.

Biased

Oh no, it poured right into the glass like it was supposed to!

Thank you Anakin, but your fun begins in another movie

I think we can all relate to Dennis in some way. It's always sunny in Philly.

A-mazing how easily entertained dogs can be.

Carl on Duty, BLACK COPS

My response to this idiotic poster

Vince isn't ***ing around

Went to my favorite restaurant the yesterday and I loved it. Thought I'd let them know.

I yelled at this cushion today for being on the couch

The Emperor

Now that's dedication to science

Traveling and staying with fam. Borrowed my little cousin's blanket to black out the windows so my kids slept in. Went out for a bagel run and nearly pooped myself...

Japos on it again.

Potty training week 1: My daughter gets her head stuck in the toilet seat and we have to cut her out. She survived unharmed.

Calm down and play dead

"..cuz baking' cool"

parenting the gaming generation

My girlfriend's in China, she sent me photo of girl wearing Mickey Mouse shirt, but something's not quite right...

Giving a speach to hugelol.

While packing my son's lunch, I found a pepper that brought me back to my college days.

The Religious Paradox

Twinkle Tush

This Tweet is now over a year old. 2018 is looking bleak.

Papa bless!

Sorry Starbucks, but I had to break that large bill SOMEWHERE..!

People whom'st'd've'ed shitpost

And then we become pickles

Shots fired at the local butcher shop.

Ostrich problems

It's my stomach I promise.

When the tard kid tries to be helpful

Back flip gone wrong.

You shouldn't have

1970s special effects

I like the Ford Fiesta

This game needs to invest in generating new player sprites.

I've had this book for 7 years. Maybe I should start reading it?

I swear this wasn't photoshopped

Black Jeep

You've arrived

WOULD YOU LIKE TO?

So my wife said she packed a special treat in my lunch today. Some assembly required.

Opossum stuck in a soda machine on campus.

When you run out of things to talk about

Lucky Luke was dope.

Font Police

death is coming

What happens next will shock you!

I need to post another meme for title as a qustianable shock to this one.

Buzz goes shopping

Roommate wanted ad found on campus is oddly truthful and endearing

Funbot: A Tragedy in Three Acts

TA DA!!

rare footage of Katman's keyboard

It's finally happening

The Progression of The Alien Films

When u eat ONLY one more pizza slice

Marriage, according to Cosmo and Wanda

ELEMELONS!!!!

The face ; when your wife is driving.

Oh, well...yes.

Thomas The Dank Engine

this is a legitimate photograph, don't let the bad quality fool you

If you enjoy *** you're in for a shock

Like It in the Crapper? You Get the Zapper

Thick thighs save lives, but thigh highs are my demise

We feed my pug carrots for treats because he's a chubster. He's grown to love them. Maybe a little too much.

Batman v Superman.

4 real fam

Don't claim you know music until you've listened to this

She is very protective of her ducklings

Katman then vs now

But, why??

Exhibitionist.

Professor Jiggly, I presume