"We must delve deeper into the understanding of black holes." - Stephen Hawking
Took a unflattering picture of my dog and thought it looked familiar....
The Indian Cobra is kill machine ... errr
My friend sent me his cat with a snap chat filter.
xX_CoolBlockGamer69_Xx --- That username is taken.
What I imagine girls do if I send a dick pic
Getting messed up
Are trolley meme still a thing?
I Call Bull
bad news...iPhone was lost in the SF Bay Area; good news...it was located; bad news...
This is what you get when you invite a man to a baby shower.
Because, f**k this city!
When you ask HL if liking traps makes you gay
I thought I knew the four elements, I was clearly wrong.
And Pence says this monkey in red shoes and sharp voice can go too
Oh the things you find at Goodwill
Oh god, where's Waldo?
What's up, losers
No matter how sour my mood may be, this always makes me laugh
My worst nightmare just came true
Pence has a cure
can't fence the pence
*** u dad I was the Michael Phelps of your ballsack.
That's what I am doing wrong since my first birthday.
When your friends use inside jokes and you are the only one who doesn't get em.
in a scale of 1-10, how enlightened are you?
I also tracked all my son's first words since birth
You wanna keep talking shit? Alright
I am not the only one! :D
No traffic like incoming traffic
It's not rape if they're dead, right?
What do i do.
See how this guy treated his hoarse voice. Click here you won't believe it
Russia's Secret Weapon
Remember kids, dabbing kills germs.
If you can't find your book
He has his mothers eyes..
Local veterinary clinic with the dad joke
Marlilyn Manson these days looks like a fat Professor Snape.
Tonight on How It's Made...
Kids be like!
Our IT guy just sent us a picture of him in his youth. Some people are destined.
Oh no, it poured right into the glass like it was supposed to!
Thank you Anakin, but your fun begins in another movie
I think we can all relate to Dennis in some way. It's always sunny in Philly.
A-mazing how easily entertained dogs can be.
Carl on Duty, BLACK COPS
My response to this idiotic poster
Vince isn't ***ing around
Went to my favorite restaurant the yesterday and I loved it. Thought I'd let them know.
I yelled at this cushion today for being on the couch
Now that's dedication to science
Traveling and staying with fam. Borrowed my little cousin's blanket to black out the windows so my kids slept in. Went out for a bagel run and nearly pooped myself...
Japos on it again.
Potty training week 1: My daughter gets her head stuck in the toilet seat and we have to cut her out. She survived unharmed.
Calm down and play dead
"..cuz baking' cool"
parenting the gaming generation
My girlfriend's in China, she sent me photo of girl wearing Mickey Mouse shirt, but something's not quite right...
Giving a speach to hugelol.
While packing my son's lunch, I found a pepper that brought me back to my college days.
The Religious Paradox
This Tweet is now over a year old. 2018 is looking bleak.
Sorry Starbucks, but I had to break that large bill SOMEWHERE..!
People whom'st'd've'ed shitpost
And then we become pickles
Shots fired at the local butcher shop.
It's my stomach I promise.
When the tard kid tries to be helpful
Back flip gone wrong.
You shouldn't have
1970s special effects
I like the Ford Fiesta
This game needs to invest in generating new player sprites.
I've had this book for 7 years. Maybe I should start reading it?
I swear this wasn't photoshopped
WOULD YOU LIKE TO?
So my wife said she packed a special treat in my lunch today. Some assembly required.
Opossum stuck in a soda machine on campus.
When you run out of things to talk about
Lucky Luke was dope.