What’s the difference between Hitler and Logan? Hitler knew when to kill himself.

american standards

This is how I ended up killing everyone in the Brotherhood of steel

It's funny... because it's true

pranked

Spongebob has evolved over the years

we dem bois

More Tweets like this will keep me watching the news.

por padem

Mike doesn't *** around

what album is this?

Thats a good skill

It only takes 9 hours...

checking the virus in my email

It’s a bit too late for confession, Arthur.

:Thinking:

Found at my local lingerie coffee stand

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

:smug:

If it works im in

nice

He did it

Friend puts fine dining menus in his son's lunch box

A shirt OP got for Christmas

Uncle Steve..

This may be the best police report ever written.

My brother got a tattoo of my Mom, but she ended up looking like that Rusty kid from The Mask

Cold in New England

finally

Logan Paul rekt by YouTube captions

Jake from State Farm

Wow...

ACKCHYUALLY

good start

Bike still for sale?

slobobro

Spreading positive ripples

me in an alternative timeline

The new season of Black Mirror

They can unlock each others iphones

Vine Invasion 2.0

Vine Invasion

I recently found this screenshot on my phone and it still pisses me off

The only man who can save us all

Ayyy

What the *** urban dictionary

Fair enough, actually...

Flat Earthers also be like..

So today when the wife texts me: “The cat has a mouse cornered in our room” this was not the corner I expected.

I’m a marine Biology student, and my cousins saw it fit to give me blobfish slippers for Christmas. I thought you all deserved to know about them.

This church near my job does not *** around

my binary gender is 10011011

He could be anywhere

Disney princesses, reimagined as cement mixers...

Logged into my security camera to see my corgi...

Hope everyone has a ...

Amazon delivery person; you da real MVP

My fiancé just plugged in her Wii for the first time in a while...

*** You, it's January!

Friend paid to get a nice family portrait done...

Everytime

heh

Daily Scramble

I go to a catholic school

Shhhhh go to sleep

I’m gonna kill that damn squirrel

Okay...at least my daughter is cute.

The kid's favourite dish

In Alabama?

Wtf.....

Beware of dog!

why did he do it

Understandable

Y'all too harsh

Ofc he didnt

Hope that too

Shout out to my man Henry

but where am i

Stolen out from under his opponents in the opening days of 2018

Evacuate!

Target doesn’t want me to succeed.

No one can deny a source like Punxsutawney Phil

new party game

thats pretty brutal

The First Law of Thermodynamics

More appropriate branding.

Gym employees this week

the chosen one

How Star Wars began

that feel when

Can't argue with his logic.

Current Mood

swooosh

I woke up to my cat acting normal. Nothing to see here.

My roommate took this selfie with my cat

How to remember where your stuff goes

Interview With Time Traveller

the peak of human ingenuity

outplayed

Anon ascends