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Roasted by Google Assistant
My neighbours an ***. I figured this note was appropriate.
Maybe it’s time to change the name
Kids are glorious
Salty
No fools here
Minneapolis Catholic Church posted this in response to last night’s last second touch down
Cleaning the gene-pool one pod at a time.
My friend found this gem on her windshield. She says she deserved it.
D E G E N E R A C Y
De-evolution of my will to live
The duality of human nature in action
Smelly fingers
He must have had a kink
Googled "Jennifer Aniston topless" and was not disappointed.
The truest thing on the internet
This is why you should have stayed in school.
Now I realize why my dad used to hide in the bathroom. You’re never alone.
Are you feeling lucky?
Look Dad, I solved it!
Dont!
Gotta love that sunny January weather!
chirp chirp
I knew it....
Family-friendly
I agree
Ancient math
open your eyes
This sign at my vet
the perfect breed
I think the oil change place is hinting that I should clean the junk out of my car
this is why i removed the speakers from my laptop
ice cream-ception.
My GF's obsession with cheesy cursive signs inspired me to make my own uninspirational signs
meme aids
Top Kek
2 nanoseconds before a lion cub passes away
Because Batman
Medieval humour – Abbey of Sainte Foy, Conques, c1050
Blind-ing Light
Don't they don't trust him with the truth
aurora borealis
My local supermarket is pro-choice.
the monster
Finally
"Steven got lung cancer""
Classic Cyanide & Happiness
Light roast
The four horseman of 2018
the sheep and the wolf
its true
because of what are they scared then
is the 'me' referring to the lightbulb or the person
This sequel is delicious.
Bon Jovi gives terrible gifts
My kind of pickup line
Netflix knows exactly what picture to use to get the youth interested in Friends.
Saw this on the drive home. Only in the Midwest would this be a thing.
HIHG GROUND
hes got this bois
Da thot wae...
In Russland there is no equality only Putin
who dis haha
when you intentionally make your life harder
93% Match
Or my dignity....
really dog? really?
small loan of 5 bucks
oh god
Bello!
My aunt took this photo of her's and her son's dog
Just how i like my strawberries
Fallout tropica
"like I usually do"
Doctor's tips
Some next level snitchery
I gave my 2 year old a slice of cheese to eat while she was watching some Paw Patrol. Then I checked on her a minute later...
Caught my kitten either mid yawn or mid transformation into the creature from The Thing.
Unexpected electric blanket review
Wholesome Space
Found a good spot for this sticker at last
First color image of Mars
Where we're going we don't need roads
Shout ding, dong really loud
Realistic Foosball
This woman was pushing her older husband on Costco cart just for fun and gave us a thumbs up as they passed
the last melonbender
More grown up than Bart
My 8 year old couldn't find his beloved teddy bear; turns out he accidentally left him at my Dad's house. This is the text my Dad sent to let us know he found the bear......
Brooklyn Nine-Nine has a lot of great lines, but this is my favorite.
Treat yo self
A woman gotta do what a woman goota do...
huehuehue
Already on sale in a Maui gift shop
You know what they say, whatever totes your scrote
I don't think someone is getting off the train...
Can you beat him ?
Maybe she is just fat
yes
christian merch <3