Oh Texas...

Send A Duck To Do A Mans Job

I think my son may be trying to tell me something. He slid this under my office door.

I couldn't help but laugh!

Why are we having people from $hithole countries come here?

Reasons my wife tries to get my attention

Mathematical limerick.

springfield stories

Take on my spaghet

Desperation lvl 100

Maths could be soooo confusing sometimes...

quick maths

open up this pit

May Keanu bless you with wisdom

Shaq and Yao Ming make Kevin Hart look photoshopped into a picture.

Snow in Texas!

So THAT'S what the extra screws were for....

The elite doesn't want you to taste the forbidden fruit!

Shadows

Picked my parents up at the airport last night after a vacation in Hawaii. They bought a new Christmas ornament for their trip.

Biblical Memegedon

I win them all.

Super Mario

stand!

They hated homer, because he spoke the truth

So me.

YOU MANIACS

Replace HDL with HL and Hitler with Traps and you're good to go

We've noticed that the map of our city looked like the Millenium Falcom so my friends decided to draw it on map using a bike app

Let there be light.

miracle cure

I’m visiting the USA for the first time: There was a glitch in the Matrix yesterday as I stood in line at the MET, NY.

egg

My cactus looks like a rabbit dabbing

Sorry boss

Chewing gum and kicking ass

Swurgent!

Nice

the end of racism

*** you Sarah!

PSA for tornadoes

Is this the start of a new saga?

2010 was a much simpler time.

damn he got a man really fast

Best Twitter Roast of All Time...

Nibba

The '60s vs now

skinnerburgers

Can confirm

You gotta do what you gotta do...

Everybody expresses road rage a little differently

Plot twist!

The loudest thing ever created by man

A very British haiku

Roasted by Google Assistant

My neighbours an ***. I figured this note was appropriate.

Maybe it’s time to change the name

Kids are glorious

Salty

No fools here

Minneapolis Catholic Church posted this in response to last night’s last second touch down

Cleaning the gene-pool one pod at a time.

My friend found this gem on her windshield. She says she deserved it.

D E G E N E R A C Y

De-evolution of my will to live

The duality of human nature in action

Smelly fingers

He must have had a kink

Googled "Jennifer Aniston topless" and was not disappointed.

The truest thing on the internet

This is why you should have stayed in school.

Now I realize why my dad used to hide in the bathroom. You’re never alone.

Are you feeling lucky?

Look Dad, I solved it!

Dont!

Gotta love that sunny January weather!

chirp chirp

I knew it....

Family-friendly

I agree

Ancient math

open your eyes

This sign at my vet

the perfect breed

I think the oil change place is hinting that I should clean the junk out of my car

this is why i removed the speakers from my laptop

ice cream-ception.

My GF's obsession with cheesy cursive signs inspired me to make my own uninspirational signs

meme aids

Top Kek

2 nanoseconds before a lion cub passes away

Because Batman

Medieval humour – Abbey of Sainte Foy, Conques, c1050

Blind-ing Light

Don't they don't trust him with the truth

aurora borealis

My local supermarket is pro-choice.

the monster

Finally

"Steven got lung cancer""