A customer asked if he could show me a picture of his wife's 'pride and joy', and another of his 'kids.' This is what he pulled out of his wallet.

Nice ice breaker

I Think my dentist used to be bullied...

Find a woman who treats you like the prince you are

Well played Amber

I’m not feeling so good

Lightweights

Lotters....

Ayy baby, nice ass

A real strong female charater

That's my guy

I dont have a dog...

The good year

Filled Domicile

Learned a useless talent while visiting Orlando

Snoop dogg ain't even a dog

Shut the hell up Toby

Too edgy?

HE DID IT FOR THE MEMES!

bones

slick

We need to have a talk

Elon Musk

Congrats on a new Chandelier, Neighbour!

Z for Zucc

what a fascinating tale

Trolling the church

That time my town's entire police department remembered Mother's Day was coming up.

Buddy has a DUI check point in front of his house tonight

Pretty much sums up tv networks right now

Marketing truth bomb

Newcastle brown ale trolling Stella Artois perfectly

advice

Thotos, the mad TITans

I think my girlfriends professor makes super suits on the side.

Sticks and stones...

Two Men

Today was my last day at my current teaching job. A parent gave me this when they picked up their child.

Deadpool and Cable

My Godson's apology note...

Well, thats my daughters toy going in the bin. Can't believe I didn't notice earlier.

RIP peepee

Yes, that's exactly what happened

A class of students were required to pick a Marvel character to embody within a resume and cover letter. This is what one student handed in.

Why is this a default setting, no one wants that

one small step for man...

Floor will never let you down

18 years of bad luck.

A fish wish

yes it is

One of the worst trade deals

What a romanric finding.

If you use Google Maps to look at Windsor Castle, the Street View person-icon turns into the Queen

Augh

So my Boring Company "Terms and Conditions" came in for my flame thrower...

a win all round

Bored walking around Hobbycraft with my girlfriend and did the most British thing possible...She thought I was immature but I think I’m hilarious!

the seed is strong

Luanne's Diary

My mother is throwing a Star Wars themed divorce party

These women have seen some things..

I have cursed you

Tacos owes me one

3rd Gen is the best and your opinion is the wrong one.

US in a nutshell.

captain marvel

when you try to creepshot a celeb but leave the flash on

sauce its sauce

Respect - amazing transformation

They’re selling Dave Chappelle’s crackhead outfit at Banana Republic.

Can i have uuuuuhhhhhh peeless burger?

C&A

Hdlol

Einstein's & Grumpycat's forbidden lovechild

yes

Coolest doggo ever

Want you to know real me

How I became desensitized to everything

TIL that non-Americans are confused by garbage disposals

twitter twit

The Room in the office

When the effort you used to cheat would have been enough to study

Tom has layers

science

Giving

I just bought new flipflops

pay2win

My favorite kind of students

I’m dead

Marc, with a “C”.

vote now

Them Bilingual aninals have you like...

Worry Not, Fragile One

Han and Leia... sort of...

I still can't stop laughing at this damn picture of snow white without her make up.

Use the force ~

How nature says don't touch

There’s a pill for that

Do this. Don't try to take a selfie with the bear.

Going further beyond