Six Things I Hope to Say in my Lifetime

knowledge

LOVE MEE!!!

When relatives say, “we’ll lose touch” if I delete Facebook

OMG I Laughed So Hard at This!

Dylan's being weird again...

haha yes

I think i'm coming down with a hangover

Follow up to the bramble jam pic!

hue

Well okay

We have updated our privacy policy

True, Very True.

One last trip

Signed, The Wizard of Fedex.

For when you want lo laugh alone

Me: *saves the game* My brain:

My night after work

100% bullshit

Oldest Man Alive

When your boss says “we need to talk”.

I chose answer

Now Tom Hanks...

My friends don't understand why i watch Dr Phil. This is why.

I ain't mad

We've updated our privacy policy

How dinosaurs became extinct

OWL ground you! I don’t give a hoot about your friends!

The happy couple

The MCU is pretty stupid when you think about it...

My dog must think I’m a monster

That Guy Starter Pack

Billboard near my house

The obvious solution

can he do it?

Found this posted up in my apartment complex

yes

are you

Give him a rap name

Would you like to have dinner some night?

lies

scum

Got this on the bottom of a receipt today.

Our smile is real

Meowth is a savage

You better watch out!

hue

This is why aliens don’t respond

What Scares You the Most?

I always seek such puns

Are you even Queen if you don't come in every color?

"I used to be stressed until I started yoga, you should try it!"

The most American photo on the internet to date.

Nice.

sploosh

Don’t do it man...

broke

smurt

This is .... hugelol ?

Never was any hope

I'll miss you old friend

Shaquille O'Seal and Seal O'Shaquille

Canadian vandalism at its worst

*Two weeks before the end of the semester*

Wee Wee

The Abduction Twist.

Girlfriend’s mom brought home a new dog today.. the older dog she had isn’t too pleased.

Mutation goes wrong.

***h!!

Imagine receiving a package like this after a wild night

This makes me sad.

Seth Rogen

Well...Technically......Yea, You're Right

0.o

Give bred

Rap music.... CONTINUES

TES memes!

Haven’t we all thought about doing this at one time or another?

My sister just adopted a dog and I don't think he has warmed up to her yet.

Perspective: What people think the Hawaii lava flow looks like VS reality

shitty oc

>normal image

Wife went to turn the lava lamp on,

Co-workers

We all die alone

How To Rap if Kendrick Lamar Invites You On Stage

Name

When you watch Infinity war without seeing any previous Marvel movies

"Paps, that filter must be an ancient one!"

Et No. 2, Brute?

But it all went downhill from there.

yes

Pecking Order

Just living my life...one dank motto at a time.

Life tips

Classic Dave

Next time I'm ordering the large one.

Neighbor's daughter loves rainbows but is too young to read. This is the present she gave for my sister's birthday

I, therefore thought it would be funny to inflate a 10' dog inside her 9' office.

MmmMurica