Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.
163,547 6-Year Club
get better material!
My bf bought me a coloring book..
It was because I liked you
How cute are they
okay but what the *** was going through Carlos's head
Intruder... Be aware!!
This is getting out of hand
Ha ha I'm so lonely
Her name is the sound of a Plunger
GIVE FRIENDSHIP A CHANCE
Weinstein, Cosby,... Bieber. Why did Dick have to go?
live faster, die younger
are you brave enough for this playlist
they had a lot but it was tasteless
Thanks for the Mercedes
I’m surprised it’s been that long
Almost missed this one
Sometimes man ಥ_ಥ
I drew Snow White and the Seven Homies
Stay classy Portland!
*southpark theme starts* , this is a reference for intelectuals
Harry Potter rocking it hard right now!
CVS in a Boston accent
That must be comfortable.
Be careful where you sit
The lady who runs our local Thai joint is a boss
How to know you're in for a treat
Second $60 is the second most important meal of the day
No doggo no
VR Goggles without the phone attached.
this is what you miss as a jew
Now that we're alone, let's badmouth the cat
A damaging blow to the dick pic economy
Time to update my resume
it's a dangerous item
Save of the century
The Wizard of Oz was a much darker movie than I remember.
Kaaaaameeee haaaameeeee HA!
Where he at
I l l e g a l
Need to try Wahlburgers
Or I just wanted to avoid you and forgot to change my settings to appear offline
Is this what toxic masculinity is like?
thats the spirit
It's funny bc nobody can spell benderact cucumberpatch
I switched out all my co-worker's cheat sheets while he was out.
he should have made the whole performance
And about me too
This is wack
takes M to feel in touch with nature
"Babe, just hologram in to work tomorrow."
It’s tax season baby.
A true visionary
Can't forget about my main nigga
She watched it snow so long she became snow herself...
So uh, my dad left the sprinkler on.
Mistakes were made
they disrespect us
My Life ._.'
Pain Chart at the Docs office today
My attempt to get a new trash can without making a phone call.
You were gone so long
They really do grow up too fast
Dad sneezes are a force of nature
It's like that sometimes
Very good boi
Chucky's little sister
I don't think it worked well last time
Everyone should do their homework!
It ain’t much but it’s honest work
I’d rather be a baby
After thousands of years, humans are still being played like a fiddle.
Today is my 36th bday. This was my fave card, from my 9 year old daughter
The new wake & bake
Sure she can tag along
Bored at office? Got an idea for you!