I applaud this lady who literally doesn't give an F in Dallas!

I get married on Saturday and this was my dinner fortune cookie tonight.

Look how happy he is.

Sometimes I don’t even wanna check

why indeed

No Kevin

birb

We’ve all been there

KFC chicken as space shuttle launch smoke.

I turned Danny Devito into a South Park character

:thinking:

Just as I suspected at Starbucks.

We shrunk a co-worker's desk while he was on vacation.

"See class, this is where they still believe in vaccinations."

The best part of going to the dentist

So I had a fortune cookie today

See who.......

Most British headline I have ever seen

I found Mark Zuckerberg in some art from 1544

Ancient India's 500TB pendrive

as long as she give me anal it all g

You know I'm Something of a Scientist Myself

war is over

Graphs make every decision easier

But this...does put a smile on my face

Starbucks to close 8,000 stores for racial-bias education on May 29

Charmin - the pun lords

WHERE'S MY SON

uwu

I wish my insulting skills could be as clever as this

Local burger joint employees have titles like Vikings would

Advantages of breast milk

Quit staring at me, bro.

When my cat sees food in front of him

the material conditions

What's on Tv now :))))

But the second mouse...

Bamboozled

heh

The reason to use bing

My cat and I enjoy driving around town and disapproving of everyone we see.

He’s in Walmart

Homie Wan Kenobi

If I cant unsee it then Nobody can!

Lawn and Order

E M I T T I N G

A dad joke on news

Nordstroms made something for the waiting husbands/boyfriends in the Women’s shoe section

Suddenly i appreciate my job much more.

Cat shows you the right way to use chair holes

@Nikio

Look, I got the ball in my mouf!!!

Mine! All mine....

paradox

E seems right

An actual concern

That is an advantage

There was a competition to start with?

When it's 3am and you sneak into the kitchen

Dragonball Super looks great

Not sure if this is directed at me or Volkswagen.

Large sign facing main road homeowner installed after recieving complaints about their dogs.

True Comparison

My friend was the MC for his sisters wedding. He forgot he put the microphone in his pocket.

“Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit”

Keanu the Redeemer

I like tacos

Wtf Greg

It's that time of year...

When you've only been doing the lectures online and your professor pulls a fast one on the midterm.

boat

Toy Story 4

Got them Growd ones

Mark

DERNASEUR

My wife and I were out walking and we found this save point. We decided to turn around since we weren’t ready for a boss battle.

Spring has sprung in Minneapolis, MN

This warning label from my new shirt

Sorry for the late edition, the trial is already under session

Pretty much every episode of house hunters

My local diner’s tea dispensers always make me smile.

I love cow...

It's where the cops hang out, too...

Nobody likes my neighbor. The neighbors snowplowed AROUND him in order to not plow him out. It made my day!

In the men’s restroom at the golf course

Its complicated

When your buddy who works at Amazon comes over.

I'm gonna leave this here...

Show me rich donkey

I’ve been laughing too long at this

They said having kids would be great...

I left my boot by my truck door and startled myself.

Mom look i made it! Im a mustache model!!!!

Harry Potter and the Chamber of War

Gotta love nature.

"Just Do It..."

An organic connection.

My jane at 7 weeks old and now 3 years old..

She’s spoken to all the managers...

What a warm welcome to a new neighborhood.