Probably could have worded that one better..

SHOTS FIRED

After hearing about the 14 pound baby being born in Florida, immediately though this

Finished this cross stitch today.

Dieting is hard...

These are not the droids you are looking for.

When I introduce a friend to Hiddenlol

Don't push Neil deGrasse Tyson.

It's called an alley-oop.

Oh the humanity

The Truth

Can't live without them

How much pressure are they expecting?

once in the army, always in the army

Haven't you got anything smaller?

When Anti-vaccers claim their process is working

Mustve been real good guacamole

Things you find the morning after your Australian housemate got hammered

That dirty slut!

Tipping intensifies

its kind of motivational

They do it on purpose.

Jose

Must be cold there, his nuts have shrunk

When you hear someone talking shit about you

Something's off about this Craigslist post.

don't worry, you're going to a new home

So Chipotle got hacked on twitter

Theres a new sheriff in town

Japan is operating on another level

When someone asks an extremely stupid question.

Avocad-owned

Ho ho hoo

Me trying to flirt

Should've worn a condom.

You can even cut a decent number of zeros

You could feed them all on Thanksgiving

So good.

Could expect it

Edgy wedgy

Also for 40 tiny pancakes

Happens all the time

How to treat her like a lady!

Dem eyebrows

The learn the difference, live the difference!

Always....

Metal Dick Solid

How it feels to have a long smooth poop.

It takes two to rebuild a relationship.

It's always sad when you see someone eating alone

Dad Jokes!

What's for dinner?

Saw this on facebook, had to share

A young one too

Found it!

"M'lady"

Sometimes, there are questions that can't be answered.

Burn

Applied for a job and got this email back

He is always so wise.

Nope nope nope nope

problem with companies making their name a verb...

All the dirty work

Make a killing.

It ain't easy being cheesey

Russian dating sites are a goldmine

White girls be like...

After reading that Canada might have assisted suicide laws pass

And today's racists award goes to Tina Ho.

The moment he realized we went past the dog park and we're on the way to the vet.

McRib and Shamrock shake

This is what Internet was built for.

you just pulled the trigger

*pst *pst *pst

Friday Motto.

EVERY. FCKN. TIME.

I seriously need to grow up

Don't be a little *** is what I'm saying

Prevent Natural Disasters!

Common mistake

Justgirlythings

korean jesus=best jesus

objectophilia

Me fighting against life

This is a chair for ***s

Racism averted

It has begun

360 no defuse

Trying to study when.. internet happens

Goat Bro

No napping you lil ***!

Hope they are screening the Americans...

8 000 000 000 retweets

What a creative way to repurpose a shoe rack!

Seriously Google? That's not really what 'translate' means.

Patrick Bateman's Bath Mat: Perfect for Your Guest Bath!

Chicken Eggs

Japan will never win the World Cup

kids got his priority's

Take a closer angle you f*ggt