Since i was a young boy my father has imposed his religion onto me. I was home schooled because we live in the west and my father wanted me in an environment that was free from anything Haram. I couldn't associate with Jews or Christians, anyone who ate unclean animals, or any girl. As a teenage guy going through puberty this was naturally a living nightmare. After years of begging from me and pressure from his colleagues, i was finally allowed to attend a very nice coed high school. The only rule was that i had to keep avoiding anything Haram. Being free for the first time i started to celebrate. Ate bacon my first day, had Christian friends in a week, and within the month i had even met a girl. I was shy and awkward as i could possibly be but she liked me and thought i was funny. She was a little too hipster punk for me, listing to music i've never heard and using words like tubular and bae, but i loved it. Within two months we were dating. It was going great until my father heard about it. The Christians and bacon he could overlook, but the women to him were really wrong. To him this was too much and he even claimed me of having sex with her. As if it couldn't get any weirder he actually demanded i show him my penis to prove i haven't been having sex. I had to ask him twice to make sure i heard him right. It was awkward but living under his roof i had to do as he commands. I started to go out with her on dates and every time i came home i had to whip it out for dad. It might be insane, but i actually am ok with dicks out for haram bae.

Every now and then a meme like this appears and proves why are we still here on this ***ing site.....god bless meme land

how can you tell if a person has sex by looking at his penis?

bravo.... simply bravo

Almost... Fine job, OP.

wow, i salute you OP, the MVP

I could smell the ruse from a mile away but I couldn't stop myself from falling for it.

This might be one of the best posts I've seen on here in a year

Best post in months.

can not upvote enough

Following the trend of logging on after lurking and leaving a comment plus a like, good story, by far best Muslim I've heard of.

It is safe to say that this week's, maybe even this month's winner of the interwebs is you.

that... Was... GLORIOUS!!!!

Im from Germany and i dont understand this Joke. Can somebody explain me this?

This is fcking gold

Edit: damn its been a while since ive read this post and its still top kek

There will never be a meme as good as this again. My realization as i scroll through the front page.

I hate this meme but that was brilliant. Enjoy my luscious upvote.

You shocked me I taught you were using this website like a social media, exactly like people from 9faf use it,

Toasting in an epic bread

this is from imgur you thief

[deleted]

a winner is you