Blessedly breasted friend was excited about her new cat shirt until she realized how googly eyed she made the cat look.

I am ready to initiate self destruct sequence

The sign on this strip club

Meme Campaign

Not the Jedi way

Sometimes my best good girl looks like Ed from the Lion King.

How to win the heart of a woman

Parker next to this car today. New kind of car alarm?

Phrasing matters

Virtually every meal I've ever made

⁠

System.out.Println("Love these guys");

I saw this on a street sign by where I live

Well, this guy just did.

Ayy Lmao

They all look so familiar...

This is how we sled in Brazil

ironic

Quick poop.....

20 years of diet and exercise.

Natural ***ry

Swedish Law Makers

*Shit i can't read

Traditional Japanese breakfast...

f*ck yeah! insurance!

Must have been a wild night!

This teacher needs some help

autistic screeching

My dog stole my wife's vibrator today and is very proud of himself.

Uh..I don't think that's the right word, mate

Overwatch in a nutshell

We got donuts for my son to bring to school for his 6th birthday....

The wife's new mat

Inb4 "wish I could relate because nobody here has friends"

I just got it...

Best place to buy a house

Are you responsible?

noice

Every day on the news

This is how he sleeps on the couch. And - he only be bothered to open one eye when I said his name.

Saw this on Amazon today

Things Teachers Never Tell Us

Sometimes you just have to teach them the old fashioned way.

when your crush calls you a lifeless weeb

Cant be stumped

What I show people when they ask what Texas is like

Hippety Hoppety

Turn the volume down to park

Principal breaks up a fight

These can kill you faster than you'd think

Nice try, Hot Pockets

Who paid for this wall?

Let it go, let it go, I don't care what they're going to say...

What a pussy

Never lucky..

Finally found my spirit animal

Guess who's not getting any heritage

Contradiction

Major Spoiler

Relatable.

That's how I roll #Delta

A jew

How did you find me

Ken M on Spring

Attack on Heaven

$$ RN $$

Great advertising for a bar....

Science is annoying

OG fidget spinner

I like my life like I drink my Sparkling Ice...

Getting away with it ✔

Real Shit

No matter how stupid you think your ideas are, remember this: A virtual fidget spinner is the top free app in the app store right now.

Reverse psychology marketing

This drunk woman had to be rescued from the kiddie pool today.

in space

People who don't know this are the same idiots who still think the world is round.

When is it my turn??

Mug I made my dad for Father's Day. He is the best.

Cute father and daughter costume

Damn.

Dog so afraid of kittens

NEITHER DO I

The new Dyson hair dryer......

A legendary stoner movie.

Too many Jews and Muslims around

You need to start asking questions.

Our Dept of Transportation has a great sense of humor.

Nature spitting some truth.

LotA

Someone had too much catnip before the shoot...

doilooklikeiknowwhatajaypegis.jpeg

the future is wow

Child labor for a rock concert

When she's on her period and has a sore throat

poods is goods

Wash away your stolen memes. Drown in dolan darkness.

Adorable puppy scared by fake nope

Thanks, I'm not ripping that off

When she sais she is 12