How to not get arrested

...Nothing.

nature is truly majestic

Show-off

Gotta say Dominos guy "delivered"

Holiday on Ice - nice ad placement

In an alternate universe..

CPR

Talk about a shitty day.

Please give me an "I"

DONT YOU DARE OBJECTIFY WOMEN

My middle school mind couldn't comprehend this at the time but now....

A Freelancer

The Portable Masturbation Hut

Im not sure what led to the creation of the world's longest plunger, but I'm glad I missed it.

Im like... totaly pregnant!

Found this on imgur, definitely worth sharing.

My dog looks like she’s a floating head

Nic Cage at Walgreens in the tampon isle

Rust were much diffrent back in the days

You can only see it once

The First Order tracking the Rebellion through lightspeed

5 Plastic Army Men Least Useful In Combat

My Dad got a picture into the community calendar

We’re going into 2018 when this guy is going into 2108

Your grandmother were so preoccupied with whether or not she could, she didn’t stop to think if she should.

Spotted in a bar in Barcelona, Spain.

Whoever thought up this name deserves a reward.

thats what they get for eating kids

The receipt for a sex shop, thank god i guess??

God made us in a gay way!

thank you siri

relatable

When she sends you nudes but as a friend

i don't rember this from Danny Phantom

Breaking Bacon

phone machine broke

Where is ya come from, where did ya go? Where did ya come from...

You want me to what!?

aww, you're such a cu-... f*ggot.

What is The Rock’s ONLY weakness?

Traffic Lights Deep in the Jungle

It's not the size, but how you use it!

When you just dont know.

outplayed F.B.I

hue

Angry bird

Rebooting is always a way out

I captured the stages of my dog's reaction when she slowly realized that I didn't have any treats.

This is the worst reboot of Power Rangers yet

The bench makes it look like this guy grew a mullet halfway thru his workout

the lolis are uprising

reeeee

Well it's tru

The second in my 2017 Review Videos

my coaster at dinner last night

I saw the chew toy earlier and I raise you all this.

My friends have a twisted sense of humor.

Today it's gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

Notice board

Too much gray

We need to talk.

Straight = Safe

When your parents tell you to get a “proper job”

this killed me

I'm waiting

My dog with a rawhide chew gives her a perfect smile

If it works, it isn’t stupid

Ani pls

Always practice safe text.

Checkmate BBC news

I come from the future with the new meme calendar

nintendo magic!

Haha, sorry.

IKEA be like:

My buddy's brother got a picture of himself for Christmas.

"I would do anything to be fit!"

It fits so well

Six fingers, that's the secret to winning Monopoly.

Today is my last day at work. I wonder how long it will take them to deactivate my email account.

Kid found the helmet

Toddler strength

The greatest chew toy of all time.

Now for today's US weather

The tallest building in Dallas is a Mitch Hedberg fan.

Get a haircut they said

Oldie but hilarious

The shadow of Thor's hammer made it look like Stan Lee peed himself.

Sooo true

Ah, to be single during the holidays.

Just step in the ring.

Pregnant ladies with WiFi?

Well this kid is screwed

Gingerbread Autopsy

No Doggo!

Putting the Christ back in Christmas

Coffee Shop in the Philippines.

My girlfriend's Mom definitely won this round of Cards Against Humanity. Totally am a black guy. I love our families.

PIVOT!