One of my employee's "sick day" email. We run an after-school program. He has a wonderful way with words.

Title

Infinity loop

Surely flying nimbus licenses aren’t subject to age limits...

Ye shall not pass!

Man, can’t win for losing

when you walk down the wrong neighborhood

Anon is lucky

*T-pose niggas*

Soup of the day...

I’m American, and a tweet that I sent out was featured in an Australian Newspaper, who thought I was English

Ninja level: Expert

killed

Hit a huge milestone at work today, incredibly thankful for everyone who helped make it possible!

The Rock with his new baby

I see they take their hygiene seriously here

Sydney is beautiful

Nearly equals 217000

My pregnant wife did not appreciate Google's autocomplete.

This sign in my local pub

Well i know nobody on here can relate

Minecraft, more like shesleepsaroundcraft amirite

My girlfriend and I share storage space in our bathroom. The baskets circled in red belong to her. The basket in blue is mine.

Our professor wears his hat and cape every time he conducts an experiment

When you use your laptop to charge your phone

Venezuela

Rule 5 for life

How to rush B

Idiot was already taken

Some people actually like to get serve the same thing 30 years in a row.

Truth about ugly people

:thinking:

Women confuse me. My girlfriend sent me out for groceries, and like any rational person, I thought that meant go get hats for the dogs. Turns out she was hungry.

Of course your mother can stay with us. Head up to the 3rd floor, the last door on the right ..

This... is... the joy of paaainting!!

Anon tries to find love

God save the queen, please.

Yeh, i know. Thanks for that.

My dog isn't allowed on the couch. This is his solution.

this is so hard

Alaska is a great place to live

This is what happens when you leave your BF alone for 5 mins...

Low effort post

Google Street View captured the spirit of Boston perfectly with one photo

Kenobi the Jedi liar

Married lyfe

Maybe tomorrow then

First time flying over handle bars today

its opposite day

I hate this game

"My cat loves me..."

:thinking:

are you feeling it now?

They're always up to something

The absolute legend

It took me longer than I care to admit to realize this guy wasn’t staring at me...

Look at that lab!

Found Mike Tyson's car today

"Shout the dog"

The quality doesn't look great, but it's actually lossless

When someone goes pass your weeb tolerence level.

A New Way of Looking at Things

UAE-man

Hood edition

:thinking:

[F] I guess?

:thinking:

Beat my Yeet

Never a day's rest for the little guy

Did Johnson kick his wife out of the bed or did he actually just give birth???

A necessary Evil.

How fast was this duck going?

Catfight.

Scary doggo

There's fork in the road

crossover

When you steal a meme that is about stealing memes

Always listen to Dad

Every small town local drug dealer

heh mandad

Clifford is an ***!!

The Best Crossover that never was

Passing Through!

***ing Doreen

Stan Lee.

Mike Trout in the dugout drinking out of a Space Jam Inspired bottle.

Funniest thing I've found in a dump. Thought I would share

Please feed your kids before you leave home !!!

This happens every time i start snorting vodkas

like if u agree

Buckingham Palace welcomes the arrival of the baby prince.

Earth Day.

Buddy of mine asked his girlfriend to prom..

Tiger Not Taking It Well After Snowball To The Face.

A collection of claws and talons from various apex predators

This is how my roommate pays rent

When you're a multibillion dollar company but can't resist a good meme

Air Support

So sad

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