My only dates are updates.
14,272 Silver Club
10-4 good buddy!
I found the Boss' secret chamber, just need three friends to help open the passage
The greatest golfer in the history of the sport and that guy Tiger Woods.
Weird spell, but ok
A will of steel
right into feels
*pikachu surprised reaction*
Every kiss begins with.........
Your officially old when you agree with this...
The cat, part three: The reckoning
Quick reminder for my fellow college friends
He’s special and we love him.
The Santa we needed.
I feel like this would be an awesome plot for a movie...
My name is Xavier and I think I just figured out my new Gamertag
It's a Doggy Dogg World!
Distracted boyfriend meme, 1985 edition
Storytime with Sir Ludacris
Shut your mouth and believe the lies
School attendance is crucial
Gender fluid is sooo last month
I know its probably a repost, but it's so true
That bad, huh?
I’m going to kill it at the office sweater party this year
Probably sit this one out!
Open up. I know what you did to my ***ing brother.
My local bar has a drunk test for people leaving
Dr. Phil be like
Chief Vitamin Water
Ah! Makes sense now!
Are you seeing this?
I've found solace in this fact...
Every day right around 5, this sun of a *** tries to kill me
The coffee shop around the corner is always cracking jokes
Doctors be like
"Free Willy" on a budget
This is one of my 3rd grade student’s “rocket ship” for our solar system posters that get hung around the room.
My husband made Snoop Dogg on Red Dead 2... his name is Snoop Dizzle
The Illuminati hiding in plain sight
Star Wars Holiday Special
More about offending the masses...
The answer is no. You should NOT vacuum pack bagels.
The sequel looks lit, fam!
14 reasons why
Me *gigling*: Nigg.. ADMINS:
This fire hydrant is up to no good.
7 year old joke. Still true, still funny...
You got any more of these Iron Daggers?
“Hey you want Chinese for dinner?” “No I already ate...”
No matter how I read this sign, I still have questions.
Family Circus v.2018
Baby baby baby ooooohhhh
My robot cat hunted a robot mouse and gave it to me as a gift.
Screaming in peaceful
What a gem
Are you even the Queen if you don't come in every colour.
The world may never know
My kind of friend
Tweets from the past were worst killers than actual killers
Timeout changes a man
Please help Tony!
During my first year as a teacher, I confiscated a phone from an 8th grader. This was their screensaver.
We need answers!
Another reason not to drink and drive.
Black is the best colour!
Name a better duo
My kid saw me watching Bob Ross. Then she handed me what she called "happy little trees."
You got it girl
WELCOME TO SEA WORLD YOU LITTLE SHIT
The Venus Flytrap
My parents have contractors doing a long term project so my mom decided make it festive.
Far Side never seems dated.
When you leave your car out in the hot sun for too long and it starts to melt.
Its that season of the year again!
Never leave a man behind
I feel like I’m being called out
Coca Cola addiction
Use of the phrase "Exponential Growth" by decade
Love me some bacon!!!
I'm not fat, I have big boughs.
My husband, after he cut our daughter’s umbilical cord this August
So, Bad English, Original English, Polite English, or Upside-down English?
1 for 2 but for 1
Green like how?
This label on a flexible charger I bought a while ago
What a good deal!
I farted and my dog moved to the far side of the sofa and has been looking at me like this since
one stupid pony vs. millions of starving people