Today I celebrated the end of paternity leave with lunch at a local restaurant. My 4 month old daughter seemed a bit overwhelmed.

Over Here, Sarge

he's into that stuff

"5 lbs. isn't that much, I can definitely eat this burrito" he said, looking at the menu confidently. Oh how wrong he was.

Eat Like Kings

wait a minute! ALABAMA MAN!

The Cycle Of Medicine

Should i... mark this as mature?

248492

Finally found a worthwhile waifu

4x4=?

The people behind these questions

children's centrifuge

Only the best for me!

Just needed one more baby

The cats are always looking for revenge...

***ing Baggins

probably

Tran[s] [b]ad, facts and logic for[eve]r

Kyle can you not

A surprise to be sure

Hello. James are you available?

The Iron King

Our friend got fired today

a steal

Polluting our oceans

Should have worn a buttplug.

Haha, yikes.

Doggy knows what’s up

Just trying to get some directions here man wtf

Sweeeeeeeet... :D

Tim Apple

uwu

Thought this belongs here

Depressing

B O W L

ttttttt

For all you office workers

Don’t threaten me with a good time

oh no

Live, Local, Late Braking.

Theres something wrong with my dog

I don't know what they're talking about, that monkey looks gangster as ***

*beat drops*

A new challenger has arrived

Please do not feed the pythons.

Is this too dank?

Dammit Karen, stop taking pictures and help me!

How old is this dude?

Morning truth

BOOF

Stopimus Crime in action

It's a bird.

It cuts and you can cut on it.

The stuff you find in stock image websites..

Basic maths

Momo

I need such a one in my life :(

New weapons have been unlocked

Failed Panorama

The cone.

Am i bad at math?

And there's Nepal, where bridges are never built

Finessed

neck

Conversations we miss

My future parenting goals

Let’s get outta here, Rick.

Surprised poket monster face

Not good do anything that uses mind in bed

Hilarious but seriously

KAMEHAMEHA!!!

He came back!

OaKRap!

The perfect couple.

Begone biatch!

Honey...?

The forbidden taste

Please respond ASAP

I’m cracking up

Please note: Similar steps must be taken for folding laundry.

Hey Google

From the book of revolutions

Funny.exe

People Reactions To Being Told They're Beautifoul

Cat> mangolia

I will always have a bag of these around.

Haha. Nice.

When trying to unlock your phone with a wet finger

This is how you make Mac & Cheese

Bravery lessons from parking lot.

Worth it ?

Thoughts and prayers for y’all out there

Father and son are ready for the car ride

This teacher had the same shirt for 40 yearbook pictures

I heard you like pizza...

Best gift ever for my birthday!

Only in SC

Big city life

Brexiting is my primary skill