I sexually identify as a train. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of roaring down rails and dropping off disgusting passengers. People say to me that a person being a train is impossible and I'm ***ing retarded but I don't care. I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install a steam engine, crankshaft, and a whistle on my body. From now on I want you to call me "Thomas" and respect my right to choo choo and run over cows. If you can't accept me you're a locomotiphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.