Once I saw a car parking like that on a shopping mall, taking the last two spots I could find. I honked and flashed my lights behind the girl, gesturing angrily for her to do it properly so I could take the other spot. She sort of struggled to reposition the car, leaving a very tight space for me, and I was determined to take it, even if I had to get out from the rear hatch, but she opened her door fully on "my spot" so I'd have to wait even more to park. I was about to jam my car in the spot to make it harder for her to leave, when she throwed her skinny, disabled in braces legs out and proceeded to struggle with her crutches to get out. Yep, it was around Christmas, crowded mall, ***s had taken the disabled spots, so she was on a standard one, but wanted to take two of them, so she could be able to get out/into her car when she got back.

I wanted to stick my head in the cigarette lighter jack and hope it exploded, killing me on the spot. I tried to apologize, but she made sure she never looked at me. I didn't take the other spot.

They left him in the water too long after Titanic.

"I have no idea why anything is happening, but I'm pretty sure it's all YOUR fault."

-Carth Onasi

Flow and hook needs to be on point too though.

http://i.imgur.com/xIolo.gif

Why wouldn't a vegan eat nuts or soy? Unless they are some animals nuts maybe

running from.

He he he

Instinct was the only hope for the realm.

Obvious: Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?

Meteorological: Everybody take cover; She's going to blow!

Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger. Like ... Wyoming.

Personal: Well, here we are. Just the three of us.

Punctual: Alright, Delbman. Your nose was on time but you were fifteen minutes late.

Envious: Oooo, I wish I were you. Gosh. To be able to smell your own ear.

Naughty: Pardon me, Sir. Some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away.

Philosophical: You know. It's not the size of a nose thats important. It's what's in it that matters.

Humorous: Laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze and its goodbye Seattle.

Commercial: Hi, I'm Earl Scheibe and I can paint that nose for $39.95.

Polite: Ah. Would you mind not bobbing your head. The orchestra keeps changing tempo.

Melodic: Everybody! "He's got the whole world in his nose."

Sympathetic: Oh, What happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?

Complementary: You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on.

Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides.

Obscure: Oh, I'd hate to see the grindstone.

Inquiry: When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid?

French: Say, the pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave.

Pornographic: Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once.

Religious: The Lord giveth and He just kept on giving, didn't He.

Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair?

Paranoid: Keep that guy away from my cocaine!

Aromatic: It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee ... in Brazil.

Appreciative: Oooo, how original. Most people just have their teeth capped.

Dirty: Your name wouldn't be Dick, would it?
https://youtu.be/Z1nYEH6EDwM

I used to have that microwave.

I hope your neighbor likes his mail scorched on the outside and frozen on the inside.