Not doing great, my addiction is escalating and im burning money on it.
A lot.
I've wasted 3k in september, was about to recover this month, wasted 2k again.
I'm gonna die alone without ever having been in love or having been with someone I care about.

On other hand, I am going to keep my job, they are very happy with me and I have a full time unrestricted contract.

I honestly wish I was dead. I dont see it improving any time soon.
Not even talking about the politics.

I'd like some Paulaner Spezi pls.

Sometimes you need a push into the right direction.
When my mum was losing her hair because of cancer, her partner said "let's shave it off, it's for the better" and she didnt regret it.

I wish I could flood my kitchen with raid.

i've thrown away everything I could find.
The eggs are very well hidden.
The containers are on their way.

I like to ride bikes and work on bikes. not the best weather for that at the moment.
I am quitting my beloved Spezi and will only drink it on special occasions or as a reward. I am not buying chocolatte either. And I think I am going to throw my Nutella away too isntead of using it up.
My main problem is getting up and out of my gutter of a head and do anything productive.

Fixed

Found this by pure coincidence on youtube agian, I forgot how much Priest rocks.
Don't worry about me.
https://youtu.be/MtWJoIUifQI?si=9sUbxwFGayo3lSFP

Not doing good(shocker, I know), multiple things are happening.
My addiction is sucking my will to live out of me.
And I can't talk to anyone about it.

I am almost back at 100kg agian, which really gets to me.

I have a food moth infestation in my kitchen, this is what hurts me the most currently.
It's just disgusting seeing the larvae crawl around on the ceiling.
I keep on killing moths and their larvae but they keep coming back.
And I can't really do anything about it either.
I can buy special insects that will wipe out the eggs but right now its too cold for shipping.

I'll have a sparkling water, please.

Sadly, it isn't.
Even the nazis were terrified and disgusted.

If you're a minority. Or a man.