My teamlead bends to the will of the bosses, so this would do nothing.
He had assured me that everyhing was fine too.
But that was a lie or he was overruled.
Another thing I just noticed is that I was barred from most of the company.
Everything logistics wise thats under teh control of my supervisors is off limits for me.
THey didn't even reassigned me inside their responsibility, they sent me somewhere else entirely.
If I would apply again in some yars, if I even stay, to transfer, I don't think they would look at my application. I am an established "idiot" now, why should they give me a 2nd chance.

That's AI.

I am still not over the fact that I am going to lose my job, this was as close to my dreamjob as possible.
My guess is that they wanted to eliminate the weakest link and that link was me.
I am getting reassigned but not within my deparment but to an entirely different deparment, away from my current bosses. Not even the forklift drivers want me apparently.

This is it, I will be unemployed next year, even if I manage to prove myself within this new deparment and stay in the comapny, my old bosses will never take me back, I have proven that I am not good enough.
If they see my name on an application to a job within their deparment, they will decline.
If they are fair, they will invite me to an interview and tell me that I have shown I am not good enough.

It does feel very weird, I haven't heard anything negative in regards to my work for the last 6 months, this is why I assumed everything is hunky dory and if I hadn't asked them for a feedback, they probably wouldn't have told me anything. Looking back, they probably have made that decision 2 months ago. They needed first responders, I applied, having done it before, they took 2 people that openly said they'd rather not do it.

I appologise for my wall of text, but this has really removed all the motivation/energy I have.
Right now, they are keeping me as a wildcard until people return from the holidays.
No matter how good of a job I do right now, my days are numbered.

This is a rough week, my phone broke and I needed a new one and everything just went awry.

Some Vodka Lemon, please-

I'm gonna lose my job, most likely.
Asked my supervisor how they like my work, the last feedback talk was 6 momths ago and they did a 180 and said they are not happy anymore, I am making too many mistakes,
I am too insecure with the work process and they will let my contract expire in may.

They gave me a 2nd chance at a different deparment, which I do consider a demotion.
What really got me is the complete silence in regards to my work.
Another deparment needed some help, one I've not been at for a while and one of the new guys there showed me the ropes again, as a refresher.
He was surprised, he told me, he was warned by my colleagues and supervisors that I will be useless and have forgotten everything. To his surprise, I did not.

I really do feel defeated, I busted my ass off and it wasn't enough, I wasn't enough. This was close being my dream job.

Once all the paperwork has been completed I will be transfered.
But it feels more like a "we can't let you go because you show up and work, so we put yopu somewhere else so they can fail you.

I don't have a problem with people not liking to me. Just say it to my face, not behind my back.
But on the other hand, one of the laziest and greasy employees gets to stay and a promotion.

part of me just wants to hand in my notice so I have the last laugh so to speak.

I don't know why I make these mistakes, I don't notice it. BUt nobody told me either.
At this point I am convinced it's ADD, I was diagnosed as a child and when I turned 16 they no longer gave me RItalin.

Oh well, I don't know what to do.

Should I speak up during our meetings about the behind the back thing?

Just give me something strong.

My relationship with my dad is a bit rocky but good, it will never be perfect because we have been sperated for so long. I don't know my love language. I am 100% filling voids.

I am 30 and can't even make it through a week.

During puberty, I am a porn addict.

My addiction is getting worse, more depraved and I don't know myself anymore.
Last week I've spent a lot of money on women and I can't tell anyone about it, they wouldn't understand.
I wanted to feel alive for once, feel something but in the end, I felt nothing. I felt even worse.

I want to live but I can't escape the prison that is my mind and my own flat.
So what do I do? The more I fight, the worse everything gets.

I push my friends away because I am too busy indulging in my addiction instead of reaching out to them or reply to them.
I am no longer myself and I feel ashamed. I am full of hatred for what I have become.
And yet, I cannot escape; i have stopped fighting it.

At least things are going ok at work.
Can I get some Paulaner Spezi please?

I'm so sorry about your grandpa.
Your wife is a keeper, I am happy for you.

How about something weird?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3hJvFO46G4