What did he say?

Addiction has gotten really bad again, not myself currently.
Work is killing me, mentally but I dont think I can return to my old department.
What to do? Sit it out and hope for the best?
I really dont want to go on like this anymore.
One Gin and Tonic please.

It was on ***, out of all places.
Someone approached me in DMs after seeing some of my posts and it turns out he works for a well known german youtube channel "Marvin Wildhage".
IF it helps others, why not.

Neighbors daughter I grew up with was named Gurpreet.
I miss her, I miss childhood.

https://youtu.be/n-IwmbARwBo?feature=shared
Feeling nostalgic

I really don't like the new department, it is exhausting, mentally and physically.
Standing on my feet 9 hours and packing parts into cardboard boxes.
I could try and speak to my boss again but I don't think they will change their decision.
Either this or out of the company.
Should I stay and go for a full contract and then try to work myself up or go.

I'm feeling super low, sometimes I sleep 12 hours after work now.

I'm going to be in a documentary about porn addiction, I will be inteviewed.
Still unsure whether I should stay anonymous or have them film my face.
There was another low in that regard and I'm in dire straits now, because I am an idiot.

I really cannot stand the isolation anymore, it's impossible for me to reach out and establish contact with real people. At almost 31, I've never been in love or in a relationship. My time is running out.

I'd like some Vodka Lemon pls.

A lot of muslim friends/accquantices call Hezbollah and such "freedom fighters" and israel the root of all evil. But go at the same time "no child should be killed, ever". While rooting for literal terrorists.

A physical and emotional void.

Had a week of leave, wasted it on being a useless addict.
Finished my roadbike restoration only to discover that the stem, the bit that holds the handlebars is too long and that I need a shorter one. So much for the planned tour tomorow.
it took a year, repainting a rusty frame, getting all the bits, I was so happy it was done only for this to happen.

Financially, this month has been a desaster.
Phone broke, right after I've lent a friend 250 euros.
New phone was 200 euros.
Got even more expenses that need to be taken care of.

My side hustle of selling bikes doesn't really work where I am at.
People don't want to pay for what they are worth, if they could, they would get it for free. Or I get lowballed and would not make a profit.

Going to apear in a documentary next weekend about porn addiction.
I will stay anonymous but I am anxious nonetheless.

I don't know, surprise me, bartender.

Bike pic attached.

I tried to read Christine but the cosntant flashbacks to things happened 2 chapters ago or a dream 1 chapter ago, so much repetition. It killed the book for me because I felt going nowhere, despite one side of the book getting smaller and the other bigger.