I'm so happy to hear that you are doing better.
If you no longer have to worry about earnings, that#s the best feeling.

What#s that track called?

The battle with the addiction is not going well. it's a losing game.
The documentary I appeared in about it turned out to be rather basic and most of the interview I was in was cut, only the spiciest bits were left in.

I am however happy at my new department although it still bothers me deeply that my previous work was so unsatisfactory that every ddivision I was with before is convinced that I am a ***ing idiot.
They prefered to hire a lazy *** that does no work and is liked by nobody.

The addiction bit is the most worrying as I am wasting my life away, I am turning 31 in 10 days and I have achieved none of my goals, never been in love, the dream of creating my own family is just there to be burried by this point.

I have almost fully recovered from my financial crisis and I have learnt a lesson.
And I have finished my singlespeed bike, I can't wait to break it in tomorow.

I'd like a Paulaner Spezi please.

The new departmant at work is happy with me and they are taking me in for an additional year, then they will decide if I get a unlimited contract or if im being let go.

FInancially, I am in absolute shambles and it will take a while before I recover.
And its all my fault.

Going to get tested for ADD in november and I hope they find something, otherwise im just retarded.
Addiction is still bad, I've given up trying and I grow more bitter and resentful towards me per day.
I took everything I could have from me. I am the reason I don't have a life outside of work or internet porn, THis is my doing. And I can't undo it.

One G&T please.

What did he say?

Addiction has gotten really bad again, not myself currently.
Work is killing me, mentally but I dont think I can return to my old department.
What to do? Sit it out and hope for the best?
I really dont want to go on like this anymore.
One Gin and Tonic please.

It was on ***, out of all places.
Someone approached me in DMs after seeing some of my posts and it turns out he works for a well known german youtube channel "Marvin Wildhage".
IF it helps others, why not.

Neighbors daughter I grew up with was named Gurpreet.
I miss her, I miss childhood.

https://youtu.be/n-IwmbARwBo?feature=shared
Feeling nostalgic

I really don't like the new department, it is exhausting, mentally and physically.
Standing on my feet 9 hours and packing parts into cardboard boxes.
I could try and speak to my boss again but I don't think they will change their decision.
Either this or out of the company.
Should I stay and go for a full contract and then try to work myself up or go.

I'm feeling super low, sometimes I sleep 12 hours after work now.

I'm going to be in a documentary about porn addiction, I will be inteviewed.
Still unsure whether I should stay anonymous or have them film my face.
There was another low in that regard and I'm in dire straits now, because I am an idiot.

I really cannot stand the isolation anymore, it's impossible for me to reach out and establish contact with real people. At almost 31, I've never been in love or in a relationship. My time is running out.

I'd like some Vodka Lemon pls.