All I see is steak being cooked on Teflon and I cringe

I give money and food to this homeless man near the train station almost every day, but I don't really like the feeling I get after. That feeling, that I'm doing it for myself, because I guess that's why I do it. If I buy a hotdog and a drink and give it to him, I feel good for a second, and then stupid like I'm hogging attention and being a good person just for the sake of feeling a good person, DFW style. I don't know how people do it either way, maybe everyone worries about that. Even just writing this post makes me feel stupid, but people do it all the time. I don't know how life works. Good luck everyone, I love you all.

jerk didn't listen to you, he's standing up.

Pretty sure he's already the Lieutenant Governor of North Carolina.

#FROM DUSK TILL DON

#NO BRAKES

Have you been in a battle axe-ident? Sustained injuries from negligent wagon drivers? You need someone you can trust. Call Law Orks today and we will provide the screaming, unintelligible lawyer you *deserve*. If we don't empty the King's coffers, your representation is free.

"Hi, I'm Duriel. When a drunken dwarf sideswiped my ox car, I was unable to work for weeks. Thanks to the sharp minds and sharp swords or Law Orks, I was able to get the compensation I deserved. Nothing can get me my old life back, but the severed head of the dwarf that did this to me helps me sleep better at night. Thanks Law Orks!"

Call now for your free consultation and remember, If it ain't Law Orks, we will kill all competition until it's Law Orks!

You'll have to pay for a new lock on the front door, if your housemate runs out of the house, shutting the door behind him, and calls the police, who kick down the door to search for the "attacker".

Villain: "Don't fight sweetheart; you work for us now."

*knock knock*

Villain 2: "There's some old nun at the door."

Villain 1: "Take care of her."

*Door opens; followed by a commotion; nun enters*

Villain 1: "What the...? Listen, Sister, this isn't the right place for a woman of prayer."

*henchmen close in*

Nun: "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." *

*begin choreographed fight scene*