oh you want relief ***er?

Sometimes snow is just snow.

I like rice for when you're in the mood to eat a thousand of something.

- Mitch Hedburg

<raises hand>

Q: Can I go to the bathroom?

A: Good question. I don't know, "can" you go to the bathroom?

Cops: Would you mind explaining to me that strong odor of "pot" emitting from the premises

Me: (points to the most adorable little alibi)

I miss the entire show.

That is some treemendous camouflage

He's a full on rapist. You know? Little kids, old people. Stuff like that.

Homies over Hoes.

"Batman you just threw that guy off a building..."

"He's fine."