Ugh

Sorry if it's hard to read, didn't notice it until now. Here goes;

TImes we ***ed up? I'll start

>Be me
>Around 16
>Living in Australia, nice property, huge backyard
>Oneday, I see a snake, similar to pic
>Snakebro is lying in the sun, minding his own business
>Decide to feed it, go inside, get some beef jerky (I was 16, had no idea what snakes ate), and tossed it to him
>The ***er gobbled it
>Each day I would come outside, sit relatively close to him, do my thing, and feed him bits of whatever food I had
>One day, I fed him parts of my sandwich
>Snakebro ***ing devoured the bread
>HeWantsTheB.jpg
>Began feeding him 'little burgers'; composed of small cuts of meat and bread
>Eventually snakebro began rejecting the meat, and only eating bread
>Snakebro began to bloat up, likely from the excess carbs
>I got quite worried after he seemed to only eat bread for a week
>I call my gf for advice, and she comes over with her mum
>''Gee Anon, it was quite silly of you to feed the snake with bread for so long, his dietery preferences have altered''
>Noshit.gif
>Gf's mum drives to pet store to buy some mice and insects
>Comes back to tried to feed snakebro
>it's no use
>My anaconda don't want none, unless you've got buns hun

.. or.. or don't shoplift

Never before have I gone through so much nightmare-material to find the sauce; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JG_WxXOnjQ8

I have never been to this magical place. So no, it doesn't come from there.

***?

mfw the title is a pun and you don't get it

I always thought it was cocaine

Great Gatsby