I'm pretty sure Slov posted this first.

people forget that all of re*dit used to love him

I don't know why I always end up hanging out with people who are a detriment to my health, like my big bro's college buddies who encouraged me to drink or that one guy I knew from work who almost got us killed in a car crash because he was drunk driving or that one roommate who was gay and made me start smoking again and wanted to f**k me.

I was on the edge of my seat the entire time

I stubbed my big toe in the door and nearly pulled the nail off. Pus and blood is oozing out of it.

I once got so drunk I slept in a ditch and nearly drowned in my own vomit and nearly poked my eye out in the barbed wire fence.

why do Europeans have to pay more?

I had a nightmare once that the moon was moving around the earth super fast and then it began falling.

Anime won a long time ago. You are like that ww2 japanese soldier in the Philippine jungle who didn't get the memo.

I already have nightmares about rats and snakes rising from the poop bowl while I shart.