I actually laughed. One of the few posts today that made me do more than blow air out of my nose. Well done. :D

Eh no this ain't a good one. If she'd be SO fat as to bend the light, then what you could say is that:
a) You can see an aura of multicolored light next to her body outline (Light coming from her sides would curve and redirect towards you, sitting in front of her, but you would see it as leaving right from next to her body);
b) You can't see in a big angle behind her, more than the outline of her body since all the light would be sucked up towards her and not leave her gravity field;

A good joke would be that "Yo' momma so fat that the breadcrumbs that fall from her mouth gravitate around her.". Huehuehuehuehuehue, that'd be fun to watch.

That awkward moment when a bird has a better seductive look than you.