https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLd2uAam0hI

how could you leave out the best one? Rock-paper-dodgeball

Oh but you see young padawan, Saruman was only a disguise, a cover name if you must. His real name is Christopher Lee, son of Geoffrey Trollope Lee. Mr. Trollope found that robe deep inside a cave after he barely escaped the massacre of his platoon during the Boer Wars. The young Christopher received the robe at his fathers deathbed, after taking the ancient actors guild´s blood oath. Swearing he would use it in the Lord of the Rings-movies so that Cpt. Obvious aka Mr. Fun at parties here can make an ass of himself when he points out that Saruman never had a father, when the Saruman he refers too is only Christopher himself, wearing the old robe his father used to wear.

"Life's not a ***! Life is a beautiful woman.
You only call her a *** because she won't let you get that pussy.
Maybe she didn't feel y'all shared any similar interests
Or maybe you're just an *** who couldn't sweet talk the princess."
-Aesop Rock