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Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me.
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.
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Found the real cause
Someone parked in the driving lane in my wife's office parking garage, because all the convenient spots were taken. Someone taped this note to the car window.
Atleast he didn't die for nothing
Bacts
An apple a day.
Obviously...
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Not nice guys think sex works a 9-5 job
The 1/3 Reich
River Song is the hero we need
Should've taken the long way around
Even in a disaster no one wants the vegan food
Dangerous
after florida man, now we have polish man
have you considered?
This must be what heaven feels like
It be like that sometimes....
9 minutes till november!
Cats are arseholes.
Ubers new service
Tyrone knew
My partner says I'm immature but I dunnoooo....
Your nose after removing all the blackheads
His name is Barry
Radio stations getting real desperate for listeners
i found a bug
Fan letter
I've got McGregor. 2nd Round with the Bangers & Mash.
Master please..
I Don't Understand How Some Women
Meanwhile today in Texas, Stupidity Reigns.
You're dicking around
Invisible man spotted in the metro!
I'm Chris Hansen, have a seat.
Moses
dudeh
Kindergarten teacher had students trace their hands for the window....creepier than intended
Those are big words for a one year old...
20 million dollars
Apparently this is the most important information about the Pittsburgh airport.
Taxos=gay
Just be more chad next time
Porb
i guess the pricipal was C O L O R B L I N D
"At last, my fort is impenetra... - I've made a huge mistake!"
So Majestic....
My professors favorite joke.
Where are some water type pokémon's?!
SHAMED!!!
Barber: "I want everyone to see how I cut hair, even when I am driving" He then heard: "say no more"
Is Hugh Jackman immortal?
North Texas tomorrow when the pumps run dry
Insert eye roll.....here
Unbeknownst to my grandma, we refer to her pan as the "dick-fryer".
Massive *** on my ass
What are your intentions with our daughter
Barry White
Found the problem in Houston
My Friend Joseph
Sometimes I eat my wife's candy. Today she hid it from me; in the plate cabinet, where I get my plates from, every meal.
That's a hell of a deal
Is it just me or do they eat their pizza like it's dick?
I like this girls style
God bless
When you run out of things to talk about.
NiBBa screwed up
I guess we can call it water-burger now
Sometimes God speaks to you.
Albus, have you seen my make-up bag?
Hero of home depot
/a/ , a magical place
and uhh
love me
2 SPOOPY KEEP SCROLLING!
Found these instructions next to the fur rugs in Ikea Glasgow
best ride
Average Texan. Starting tomorrow.
He stealin yo girl
In which one will you look?
I wonder how that comment thread went
didn't have a tape measure but...
20 years can make a big difference
Alpaca vs. Llama
One of the hottest women
Googley eyes put to good use
historical
Mirrors are for amateurs
Last time I was in Las Vegas I ran out of towels. I told housekeeping that I would tip one dollar for every extra towel put in my room. #Pallazo
This girl at the gas station behind me - Should I tell her the evidence she got busy last night is on her hood???
Bachelors party done right
Spidey's always being left out
Joel Olsteen's thoughts on Harvey
Fire Distinguisher
And then they take a plate home.
Meanwhile... in an alternate timeline.
Malcolm in the Middle
Joel’s Ark
True!
Pretty sure it's a trap
Leo the magician everybody!