First and last name, and your occupation

Went bowling with my brother today. He asks for the biggest size they have, and the counter guy's response was "I knew this day would come, we've been waiting for you."

I see your No Kids and raise you cats, lots of cats.

quality sign

My mom made me a sandwich for work but my brother saw the note before me

I wish I knew what that said

No matter the time period , parents always could use a nice 5 minute break

Picked up my mom at LAX this weekend!

Proof the moon landing was staged

Little colonial humor

No kids. No husband. No problem.

Guy buries a Nalgene bottle full of Vodka at Randall's Island 3 weeks before Electric Zoo, digs it up & delivers

Yes, but were they selfies?

Another gem at Goodwill!

"Come here often?"... looks like my dogs trying to hit on someone at a bar

Harvested some carrots

Classic Tumblr

The U

Optimus Spaghettus

Anon hit a feel

god knows whats up

I want to die

Bud Lightyear

Body acceptance.

The redeemer

Bravo avocado

saudis be like

No parents.

AirB&B host told me to be sure to lock the front gate.

I'll just rub this blue shit on the tip.

On Point!

She knows how to live

Horslatable

Difficult difficult.

The label is in just the right place.

The summer intern was asked to make a sign apologizing for closing early.

I am the master of change

cat

When panorama shots go wrong.

Poor headline placement on CNN

owie

Why women live longer than men

When the house floor is heated in winter...the cat is enjoying

Where's my stabbin' knife!?

Yeah Life Hacks!

Cameo Stan Lee is at it again

So our fridge is covered with blackboard paint.

How drunk white girls emphasize their point in a argument

It's even more fun over the phone...

I just noticed if you make your eyes blurry you can read it.

dog

Pirates arr humans too you know

ESRB doin sumtin right

nani!

huehuehue

Its September already?

Mine is Polar Bear

No wonder this car wash place is so popular...

cRaWlInG iN mY sKiN

______________________________________

Hope for the future

My best tag sale find yet

I'm going to reuse this format later.

Something's strange in this neighborhood

View of my apartment pool today

The Mortiest Morty and the Pickliest Rick! DragonCon 2017

Siri and his puns...

Imagine Bear Grills saying this

I surprised my wife for her birthday

Call the priest

I can't believe it...I'm on a band aid box!

I bet he's good at tetris

Owen wants to be a NINJA!

They say money can't buy happiness...false, happiness costs $5.

Thief

Adobe Photoshop

So....who wrote this book?

Just a couple of white guys at the craft store

What sort of wizard is this?

This Restaurant Really Knows How to Treat Their Customers

You can't forget about accidental long arm guy

"Huge sale. *** you."

Good Mornng

My local auto shop doles out a harsh truth.

Ole Barry

Good guy Hooters.

Never lose your car again

How to handle the parking problem

There are some indications of animosity between two of my neighbours.

I teach 8th grade in Florida and had to teach a state mandated bullying lesson. This was a slide I had to go over with them.

My daughter found out what happens when you hit the red button.

Where are you going to dump that?

Actually, just my type.

Woofing hard or hardly woofing?

Or not. Whatever you think is best.

Friend sent me this. Thought it was pretty amusing.

Spongebob pls

Don't be late

greatest invention ever

Shia pls