"just me and my fat body slipping around covered in oil" This is news we should be seeing

Where real men cried

Rate my progress in art

The way my sisters dog fell asleep in the car

Use the law suit, Luke.

When teacher uses my name as good example

The three stages of a male orgasm

foolproof

Well have you?

Kevin is a real inspiration for everyone.

old reliable

When you are on 1% battery life but still want to downvote one last post

Unfortunate graduation pic.

Or pumpkin spice lattes.

What happens when you give an ENT doctor an IV cannula

My lord is the light.

But there is one they fear and his name is HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

So much truth to this

Hello Dark NES my old friend..

I'll take none of that either.

Damn you, Karlie Kloss!

Dad? Stop squeaking dad.

My girlfriend picked the wrong parking spot

Solving the puzzle

My 4 year old keeps calling everything a butt. He said he wanted “butt toast”. My husband obliged.

My friend tried to use one of those "love meter" machines the other day, and it wasn't working for him. I guess we'll never know.

Boss asked me to take down his Halloween decorations

Shopping for The Dark Brotherhood

rape is not a joke

When you have a 1 year old and go in the other room

Five stages of grief

loli's too imo

Just got my new rubber ducky for my bath!

Just go with it

Slow down Sharon!

Robbie the Arsonist's Very Busy Day

There is something wrong with your medulla oblongata.

Sex robot for hlolers

No, get those lights off! OFF!

really makes you think

My school just held an actual funeral for our rival highschool's football team

Xmas tree up yet?

I think this guy is up to something

Ironic

Looks like a catfish

Tornado Safety: DOs and DON'Ts

Papa John's be like

He will stand trial

simpsposting

Always Waiting

Humping the Vet before neutering #ballsout #lasthump

David Spade portrait + Neil Young Quote + attributed to Kurt Cobain RIP = awesomeness

Spotted this at my work place.

The Oscars 2018 after 2017’s sex scandals

Why you should never put a bald guy on the cover of your paper

Somewhere, in a secret emergency meeting of celebrities

Avocato

M'lamp

America runs on

Life tip- brilliant solution

Accidents happen

“Strong independent woman seeking porn star to pay my way through life”

your daily amount of self loathing

My mind is telling me NOOoOo!

Boi

One more spin

But nothing comes out when they move their lips, Just a bunch of gibberish

As a parent pushing 40, I've never related to a bumper sticker more...

Tired of the shit

We are picking up our husbands after their deployment. I wasn’t aware we were making signs.

Be careful of your kindness.

T H I C C

I also like how "as ***" is now used as a measurement tool

Blackadder was bomb

Multi-ethnic Panda

Wait.....what!?

As a parent, the best birthday card I've ever received. The toilet humor is strong in our house.

Hilarious kittens fight

Hey, what the...?

Dong

https://goo.gl/rgMpqn

Animation company w/ top animators, this pumpkin won their carving competition

Gore

Hot

Denying thots left and right

Your dad is 44

Russian Mario

Making stacks on stacks from being useless sounds good — still making me feel useless *sigh*

I think this is absolutely hilarious

The fellas know the struggle..

I mean it's kind of true.

Baby girl confused by father's twin brother.

It is a landfill

While shopping for exercise equipment I came across an honest question...

I sat on the ground after a sweaty run

Pigeon forgot how to pigeon

Biggest idiot of the century

This isn't your usual game of soccer...this is EXTREME SOCCER!

...For her pleasure

Kids are Oblivious