Things people said today

I'm just gonna sit riiiiight here.

My aunt was trying to sell an old van but it wouldn’t start so they open the hood.

I love adblock

It was on sale

Spotted in a shop window, Iceland...

C L E A N S E

So happy to see that my 6 year old is improving on his writing.

My fiance and I made pumpkins like one we saw on here, but they've started to rot. Now our pumpkins look like a couple of crazy meth heads.

Finally, a movement I can get behind

Phoebe?

you know what they say about black people

i bet they watch Richard and Mortimer

My friend's waiter asked what he wanted for dessert. He said - "Nothing, thanks". This is what he got.

When I heard Amazon was in talks to make a LoTR series

Subtle!

Our buddy masturbates a lot so we got him a commercial paper towel dispenser for his bday

"Cats love it"

CNN anchors literally standing right next to each other...

My fiancée accidentally printed her concert ticket on a price tag sticker at work

My colleague was taking a lot of notes during an executive meeting. I asked to see what he was writing about

Hey Leia !

The most epic burn of all time.

Hmmmmm

Saw this yesterday... not sure how accurate it is.

Dinoriders

Going the extra mile

It is done

Outside a local Wax Bar

This quote in my textbook

just stay on the ship lol

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand this joke

My wife casually mentioned that she forgot to take birth control this weekend... then we woke up to this on our microwave this morning

Some of these puns are dino-poor.

I only bought one ink package

This tree doesn't like its neighbors

First time in team history...

What my neighbors are up to at 3am

A seedy job

Wait, I didn't even...

here fixed it

Good Service

Fight Capitalism now for the low, low price of $375!

IsIs

hmmmmm

Doggo is Doggay

We Ain't Found Shit

As if high school wasn’t hard enough....

        

Is there anything worse than a Lego for stepping on in the middle of the night?

Polish firefighter reacts to a girl stretching

Alright SoundCloud, you've gone too far.

Not very

When it's the second day of your diet but you see this...

no swearing in the comments please

Drawing the short straw.

Sportsmanship: it's way over-rated

Whoever thought of this is a bloody genius.

Costumes against humanity

Cousin Eddie to the rescue!

Something my coworkers added to our office

"Things have gone wrong somewhere"

D&D. This always gives me a headache from laughing too hard. I haven't seen it around, so here you go.

All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names: So he murdered them....

People we need to stand together!

untitled meme

Great name for an author! No wonder she has sold over a million books

Pass those wings

My father went to Knott’s berry farm and this was the only picture he sent.

haha

Every guy who’s had a girlfriend has been through this

Colorado's silhouette doesn't have the same recognizability as other states

The funniest line in Stanger Things.

Be sure to pay attention when grabbing cream cheese this holiday season.

You had one job, Whole Foods sign maker.

Banks hate this man!

Some designer at Apt. 9 is a low-key Star Trek fan.

Every November

Retail in a nutshell

With all the recent Hollywood events..

Dating in 2017

One Xbox one X box

THE GOD

I think my friends cat thinks hes human..

Probably the most perfect face swap ever

Just sent this digital gift card to my brother... thanks Amazon!

Lakes

old, succesfull meme + new meme format = karma?

My son is basically a potato with hands and doesn't smile yet, but he does do this...

snip snap

Barbie has some other uses

Something went wrong..

Pennywise found my weakness.

So this is what Jo-posting feels like

Lit

ｎｏ　ｍａｎ

when she finally shows bobs

roundabout

My cat was not ready for Dinovember

So Orlando Bloom uploaded this on his verified Facebook Page.