I need to have lower expectations

good question

Finally, I Understand Why Cars Have These Things!!!

Goes to job interview "So what skills do you have to offer?"

Missing a Tabby?

Broke my boss's mug that he had for 10 years. I think I got a suitable replacement.

ma tim is now

They weren't kidding.

Seems rigged to me

Seems a bit harsh.

Size 1

Matt Lauer got fired from NBC!

spawned

one bunch

Church by me

My boss said he couldn't leave the house to come to work today. He attached this picture.

This 18 year old Futurama joke

Strong message!

Pro tip.

I never thought about it like that before...

If you remember who this is, you would’ve been so jealous of me when I was 6

Meanwhile, in front of me on the interstate...

HAhaHAhaHAhaHa

Plz HELP! Is there anyone know snakes? Will I be poisoned?

These are elves. They make snow.

Are you nervous?

Just cooking

Proper grammar

food before dudes

:DD :D

When Sherlock meets sherlock

Eat at Jeff Burger!

“ANSWER ME! HOW DOES HE MAKE IT AROUND THE WORLD IN ONE NIGHT?!”

how i failed my licens test

boosted

Getting the plaque was cheaper than paying for shipping

It's not over

Me in the Winter vs me in the Summer

Griff!

Anon goes to a strip club

Paul McCartney's new album could do with a catchier title.

blue pill

USA vs Bosnia

Me trying to get some of those free trials

bob it

Someone posted an ad about a "cat" that they found this morning

Are you proud of me Hugelol

The girl my sister was baby sitting had a look of pure joy I’ve only seen once before...

It's the big comeback of the damned meme (surprise in the comments)

Spaceballs predicted it.

Very disappointed

Dammit, boy, go play! Momma's eatin'!

Viral is still cancer and I forgot to post a pun on Pun Tuesday

That wink wink

a bit late on the meme train but yeah

Am I trippin?

semiotically woke

The Flat Earth Society wins a trip to space...

My sister went on a group cruise over thanksgiving and slid these under the door of some of her group members

herii botter

Thought I was buying Dickies socks

The 50’s were simple times.

That's some smart thinking right there.

My stepdad put Tinfoil over the router to stop people from hacking it.

She’s in for a shock

"I'm trying to give her positive role models"

The school said each kid had to bring a printed photo of the family preparing the recipe of the requested item. Our kid got Coke and my husband delivered.

These t-shirts

this is so me #blessed

благодарение

Anon gets cucked

hugh neutron - drank

splish splash

Player Select

Dressed to impress the best in the nest.

The jokes on you, I’m in my late 30’s

Skill - 100

Linux 2003

My friend is visiting Amsterdam and saw this.

they probably forgot to like

From @bad_science_jokes on instagram

Capitalize & Conquer

Headed straight for the FP

yes

Get your shit together, Voldemort

I'm a nerd and I picked out my own shower curtain

magnum opus

Finally an explanation for Pai and Verizon mongoloids

If God created the Sun in the fourth day...

Pray for my girl

Am I too late for sharing Shower Curtains? Married and this one always unnerves any guests we have

How Swiss Cheese Was Invented

I'm single, I picked my shower curtain, and I want to jump on the bandwagon

My wife barred me from drunken eBay purchases after I bought a shower curtain.

I’m married and have no say in things like shower curtains

I do not have a wife.

It’s almost that time of year ladies! Don’t get caught sitting at the table without a man to go through all the questions with you!

The war has begun

I'm a lonely single man. I ordered this shower curtain

So my wife's coworker got tired of seeing this dead bug on the floor at work...