If you're not with me... then you are my enemy...

My wife and I are doing fertility treatments. Today I had to provide a sperm sample. Here's the super erotic not awkward room where you jack off into a cup with your name on it.

Get em while they're young

low effort shitpost

Being an old timey doctor...

lol this nibba doesnt even have a charizard

what a nice laugh

She’s onto something

Car modded to look like an X-wing

The best smartphones - with screen sizes of 55-inches

Just one drink...

how old is tinkerbell?

tro thu

Even slower than snails

Hope I got my ticket

My grandma’s cat refuses to come out while I’m there. But he’s always watching

I chose... poorly

friendship.

This neighbor dispute has a clear winner. And I am now C. Fay from apt 39’s biggest fan.

This pun is bad and I should feel bad.

Mid-Term Exam soon..

I just realized what my "employee handbook" said...

Strong hips ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The perfect summer body doesn't exis...

Google tells you Hobbit meal times.

I had my sister watch my cat for a couple days, and these are all the updates she sent me.

Years go by really fast

That time of the week

Every penny counts

Just a friendly reminder that october is in 166 days

timing

Can't read my mind

yes

Anyone for yoga?.

get it right

Eye see you

What??? I see nothing.

Breed of peace? Piece of ass that he bit off

Moober...

Makes you think..

Shampoolympics

Ugh, not again

It is Wednesday

The perfect girl doesn't exist

The Manliest Pacifier Ever

Hold on, Karen

I ' m pretty sure you will figure this out.

The trap has sprung

It is

The USB stick of shame

Beautiful!

This means anal right?

CHOKING HAZARD

zucc

WHOS THERE? I HAVE A BELT AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO HANG MYSELF!

Plox

the height of lazy

The ultimate go to

This is the devil’s work.

HLers when faced with any form of difficulty

Gotta love allergy season

If you got this type of time in your morning wyd

I told her she wasn't bringing me enough limes, think she knocked it out of the park

Found this gem at school today

Wha...what are they going to do to Thomas?

Im no good at push ups

The friendzone

I've never met my great aunt, but this picture tells me everything I need to know

How to weed out a fake

I applaud this lady who literally doesn't give an F in Dallas!

I get married on Saturday and this was my dinner fortune cookie tonight.

Look how happy he is.

Sometimes I don’t even wanna check

why indeed

No Kevin

birb

We’ve all been there

KFC chicken as space shuttle launch smoke.

I turned Danny Devito into a South Park character

:thinking:

Just as I suspected at Starbucks.

We shrunk a co-worker's desk while he was on vacation.

"See class, this is where they still believe in vaccinations."

The best part of going to the dentist

So I had a fortune cookie today

See who.......

Most British headline I have ever seen

I found Mark Zuckerberg in some art from 1544

Ancient India's 500TB pendrive

as long as she give me anal it all g

You know I'm Something of a Scientist Myself

war is over

Graphs make every decision easier

But this...does put a smile on my face

Starbucks to close 8,000 stores for racial-bias education on May 29

Charmin - the pun lords

WHERE'S MY SON

uwu

I wish my insulting skills could be as clever as this

Local burger joint employees have titles like Vikings would