Our FaceTime perfectly froze when my girlfriend’s dog was about to puke on her.

Sentry

How time reverses things.

Warning in advance.

Lactose Anyone?

Remember, don't forget to call me "Chief".

My wife sent me our son's music results with the comment "I can think of, like, 7 ex-boyfriends who needed a scoresheet like this"!

Life advice for any age.

That time of year!

I’m gonna have to try that

Went to a job interview, saw this in the lobby.

Bravo!

RIP Daniel

Quit for good

Should a Girl go out like this?

"What do you mean I'm adopted??"

Nonna’s pasta brings all the boys to the yard

Nail'd it.

Water in Italy.

Grammar police at it again

I found both sides of the story

Surpass the limitations

Rip loli tag

My mom unknowingly bought a bong for her crystal/glass collection. We have no intention of telling her.

Attention passengers..

Our new foster dog’s reaction when you ask her if she’s a good girl...

Ungrateful brats

Eminem is a Legend

My kid's grounded so she had to help power wash the deck. I came back to this. Grounding extended.

So THAT'S what those orange cones were for.

Autists

This is what international diplomacy has come to in 2018

Stupid gold diggers

Welcome to Hell, Mom!

Apple Now Supports Windows

No word on whether the Missus was similarly satisfied.

:notlikethis:

shit tier meme sorry

accurate

Good morning, comrades!

When you keep writing "deoxyribonucleic acid" instead of "DNA" in your bio essay to meet minimum page requirement

It's all ok now

NO BANTA LICENSE!

Some drugs are cheaper

An ad for a BBQ Dad

Perfect irony.

The Early Bird Gets The....Nevermind.

Wipe Away the Tears

Awesome Selfie with the gang! Cool shot

Makes sense

ahah xD

Roses are red. A church has a steeple...

The mountain with his girlfriend

real photo of an extraterrestrial being

Saw 2 boxes having sex on the drive home

Gay is now cured

+Jews!

hahaha

Joe Rogan trying his hardest

Old man Logan

Rockin the phedora?

I don’t think this one is mine.

The best part of hand-me-down textbooks

Rain on my parade

Oh Anthony

Dam I'm only 24 and I already have one of these.

Braces off

Elephants are so intelligent!

BRÖTHER, MAY I HAVE SOME CHËËT?

Strike

T H I C C

pull the trigger

shogun post

good begainning,bad ending

Everybody suffers in the retail industry

The movies make it seem so easy...

real men have curves

Something went wrong here.

Age Old Arguments.

This is needed on every menu.

Jurassic World, Pennsylvania edition.

This is my kind of art.

Well, I never knew that

The real pro tip is in the customer questions.

My cousin works part time at a nursing home and writes down a quote from a resident each day

Who’s The Bald ***?

That makes total sense!

I'm with Gary...

*kid does something*

Ready to sail!

We've come so far

Canadian Sexting

We have all experienced this.

That rabbit's alright.

TB

I mean, cmon.

Sign found at the LA Zoo

OMG ARE THOSE ON HIS HEAD CAT EARS?????

Hey, wiretap.

In your darkest hour...