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Jizz addicts
Open up. I know what you did to my ***ing brother.
My local bar has a drunk test for people leaving
Dr. Phil be like
Chief Vitamin Water
Ah! Makes sense now!
Are you seeing this?
I've found solace in this fact...
Every day right around 5, this sun of a *** tries to kill me
The coffee shop around the corner is always cracking jokes
Doctors be like
"Free Willy" on a budget
This is one of my 3rd grade student’s “rocket ship” for our solar system posters that get hung around the room.
My husband made Snoop Dogg on Red Dead 2... his name is Snoop Dizzle
The Illuminati hiding in plain sight
Star Wars Holiday Special
More about offending the masses...
The answer is no. You should NOT vacuum pack bagels.
The sequel looks lit, fam!
14 reasons why
Me *gigling*: Nigg.. ADMINS:
This fire hydrant is up to no good.
7 year old joke. Still true, still funny...
You got any more of these Iron Daggers?
“Hey you want Chinese for dinner?” “No I already ate...”
No matter how I read this sign, I still have questions.
Dammit Jerry
Only sometimes
Family Circus v.2018
Baby baby baby ooooohhhh
My robot cat hunted a robot mouse and gave it to me as a gift.
Screaming in peaceful
What a gem
Eagles
Are you even the Queen if you don't come in every colour.
@DramaAllert
The world may never know
My kind of friend
Tweets from the past were worst killers than actual killers
Timeout changes a man
Please help Tony!
During my first year as a teacher, I confiscated a phone from an 8th grader. This was their screensaver.
You reckon?
We need answers!
Another reason not to drink and drive.
Black is the best colour!
Name a better duo
My kid saw me watching Bob Ross. Then she handed me what she called "happy little trees."
You got it girl
WELCOME TO SEA WORLD YOU LITTLE SHIT
The Venus Flytrap
My parents have contractors doing a long term project so my mom decided make it festive.
Far Side never seems dated.
When you leave your car out in the hot sun for too long and it starts to melt.
Its that season of the year again!
Never leave a man behind
Christmas cheer
I feel like I’m being called out
Coca Cola addiction
Epic
Use of the phrase "Exponential Growth" by decade
Love me some bacon!!!
I'm not fat, I have big boughs.
My husband, after he cut our daughter’s umbilical cord this August
So, Bad English, Original English, Polite English, or Upside-down English?
1 for 2 but for 1
Green like how?
This label on a flexible charger I bought a while ago
What a good deal!
I farted and my dog moved to the far side of the sofa and has been looking at me like this since
one stupid pony vs. millions of starving people
I'm a bearded man living in Canada. This happens to me almost everyday, hence, I decided to create a meme about it.
Aye aye Captain Crunch
Chief
In your head
Perfect score!
I say: no.
I came home to the Grinch stealing my Christmas tree, but I scared him off before he could get the ornaments.
“This car barrier prevents your pup from nosing up between the seats, being a distraction, or jumping where they shouldn't go.”
Had a nice photo with the missus and had it put on a key ring, only to later notice this gem... Worst/greatest picture ever
These off brands are getting out of hand
Life hack #6632
Endgame
We didn’t want to set up the second half of the tree. So we got creative. Meet treevor
A six year journey...
Everything the light touches can be powered by clean burning propane
Writing a letter to the red guy
I think I got the wrong Happy Meal
Grandma knows better
just get down here
I can and i shall
The sword tho
Anon is weak
Say no to prejudice
My take on Viral (links in comment section)
You could've saved us
Pretty much the world right now.
What a waste of human creativity
It is quite sad, but some people like it
They’ve figured us out!