My new favorite thing to do with spam texts

Learning Fibonacci sequence

I scream from when I wake up till when I go to bed even then I keep screaming.

When I lose something my wife always has me retrace my steps. I thought it would make a funny cartoon. Hope you like it.

When your kid asks for a switch for Christmas

Big dick energy

Anyone else who laughs at this is my new bff

Elf on a Shelf is wildin’

I'm proud that I didn't miss the moment

City

Bruh you ok

Hmm, well according to Google...

That’s true

Hail Octonauts

Pretty in heels

He so sexyyy...

Just a quick shout out

Steve Buscemi looking like Macauley Culkin in maybe 7 rough years

Terminator 2

Just saw this movie again

Rewind it

I googled “fat starfish” I wasn’t disappointed

I’m in

Not to rat out on Crisp Rat’s dad...

Happy Holidays from Clarkson, Hammond and May

Someone decided to submit the photo of Mickey Rourke and Axl Rose for the “birthdays and anniversaries” announcements for our local news station.

Solomon

The plant cells.

To all our Mexican brothers and sisters

A tense situation

I like my lungs how I like my ribs..smoked

Water, water, everywhere, and every drop is hogs.

Words of wisdom!

My wife absolutely hates with a dark seeded passion, Nicholas Cage.

How to deal with life’s disappointments

A reminder for the holidays

For you jrlol3

This wrapping paper

Snooman

This sign in Hamilton Township PA

The ole’ razzle dazzle

Terrifying fish santa at my local supermarket

Not gonna lie, this is true for me.

Mom wants a “conflict-free” family Christmas this year, so I’m wearing this. Haven’t been as excited in years!

That realism.

When this clown just had enough

I call it an upgrade

He told me he couldn’t help it, he tasted like Christmas magic.

I’m ded at the bottom right pic.

Stop or I'll shoot!

Amazon will now let customers track packages upon delivery theft.

MISSING: my dog's body

HLMU 2: Electric Boogaloo

The happy lil cat

When you leave the door open

Gets me every year...

Truth tbh

Am I the only one seeing a Holy Toilet?

Our tools*

I’m glad they protected his identity

The net savings will pay for the house

"What's the name of this song?"

If this has a ring of truth, don't put a ring on it!

Was proud to show my parents my first apartment and this happened.

Holiday parties be like

hairy

Plan ahead, please don’t drink and drive

At my school today, true nerds

Cars 4?

Battlefield Santa

Favorite time of year

Not guilty.

Risky topic for a post but it made me laugh

...with a tuck and roll, then sprang over the armchair whilst snatching the pen from your hand...

Bartolo Colon has never lost a Super Bowl, unlike Tom Brady

Probably trying to use an expired coupon as usual

Christmas poem.

The two things that matters the most

Poor doggos

Srsly, why?

The Christmas Giraffe, a collection of 6 gifts for my wife. Inspired by The Christmas Moose

Monopoly

Perfect wish

Better than vax

SUSAN WHERE THE F YOU AT

This kid looks like a middle aged man

YAAAASSSSSSS

Maybe we're next

Tsuyu OP as shit

Bonus

Imagine

the wasp said so

90% if the people I went to high school with

This is getting me harder then terminator armor

The great Gatwick drone wars.

The new Hellboy...

GAY FROGS!

Deadpool thought he was attending a sweater party

The escort

The longer I work there the more this is me...