“Where are my goddam keys?”

If my kilt offends you ;)

Is it possible for an image to be so horrible, it causes physical pain?

Nein one one

100% seedless

Stonks.

"I'll ***ing do it again."

Storm trooper baymax cosplay

Patrick, Where's your pants?

dayum

Sister-in-law orders a Japanese whiskey for me every Christmas. I don’t think she read the description this time when she shipped me a $50 bottle of soy sauce.

Meanwhile in the drone repair facility

The Watercooler

Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit you have a problem?

"I murdered your toys as well"

Welp he’s safe from tickets

omg

it’s the thought that counts

Found in a Russian souvenir shop

Yes it is

The ever judgemental look of my Eastern European mother in law as she listens to her daughter talk

This is Gold, pretty much everyone agrees to this Hahaha

Finally clean

Not very far from the truth.

A legend is born

Believe it or not

This slide folds ice better than I fold fitted sheets

April Fools!!

C.R.E.A.M

Been in the game since ‘86

Poor Wikipedia

I honestly don't know which is more revolting

Steamed Toast

The Evil Influence Of Pac-Man

Dad's photo gallary.

Can’t wait for Ben to grow up

What the hell happened here??

David Greta

I want gay married

My 22 year old daughter wanted a label maker for Christmas... Didn't know why, but woke up to this, this morning. Labels like this all over the house.

Rebel

At least we know he likes it!

Shout out to all those who were called nerds but were really just ahead of their time.

Maybe it is time to chose a new King guys?

What do DJs, Bank Robbers, Preachers, and Mothers have in common?

I helped an intern get a job. She left me this note. This means I'm getting a blowjob, right?

Something for everyone.

Merry Christmas! For one last time, I will answer all of your Christmas wishes!

My 10 year old cousin asked for a riding crop for her horseback riding lessons, my aunt tried to deliver...

Nailed it, she did

My first Christmas as a father, this was the personalized gift I received. I love it, with a heart symbol at the end!

Finally got to see Paris and this was all I really wanted to do.

Just bought my grandma a new phone

My nephew doesn’t know pain yet. HE WILL!!!

Merry Christmas from the Solos.

Christmas Party Last Night: A Summary

My wife got me these. Best socks ever.

Merry Christmas from north Texas

The deleted behind the scenes

Being a Christmas Eve baby, I usually get minimal effort on the birthday cards. Mom knocked it out of the park this year.

Alright, ...

He he he depression

Sing it with me...

Dad starter pack

LET ME PUT IT IN

My daughter knows me.

Work hard they say. You will be rewarded they say.

Im in the running for Best Christmas Gift Received today!

My friends and I made our own Christmas card.

We all live in a simulation

WEIRD: Got a sewing kit over Christmas, but someone had replaced all the sewing supplies with food.

This sign makes me feel very appreciated

A Starfish Christmas.

Would have been cheaper to just buy the game

"You Jews are so lucky. YOU GET EIGHT DAYS OF PRESENTS!" Yep, here's day four. L'chaim!

Holiday dinner pictorial while you are in the shower

I’ve had this saved to my phone for months

Someone had to do this for christmas

What all mothers say.

I can't even use a stud finder without using it on my self, tongs without clamping them twice, or eat broccoli pretending without imagining I am a giant! I am not even a dad, I am just the funcle!

the creativity and thought put into this caption is perfect

From one of the scientists I follow. Merry Christmas guys

Another year as the last unmarried in the family. Our family tradition continues.

New year's resolution motivation

Just walked in to see my mom’s cat like this, I think I’m in trouble.

Checkmate, non-believers

I was born with out an ear. So for Christmas my roommates got me this

The thing goes graphite on the floor

A story about an all star

How was YOUR Christmas?

Hold on he's got the point

Such a well integrated joke

Made me do a lil ehehe

WHEY

joejoe

I took some creative liberties when wrapping my brother's Christmas gift.

Give me the remote

My Dad looks like Santa's Accountant

I wonder what it is?

Gimme that kneeple milk