I tried to be cute and carved "I love u" into my wife's banana last night and this morning, it looked like a note from a stalker. 0/10 Will not do again.

Mark Zuckerburg testified yesterday along with other tech ceos

It also has my 1tb of "homework" folder

priorities set

*screaming in the terminal*

Apparently Balrogs are French, which honestly makes sense

Who created God?

snek 100

So today I went to /b/ for the first time since 2015, first thread I saw:

This propane tank painted like Hank Hill's Lego head

Glue sniffers.

true

Hollywood is just getting lazy at this point.

Monopoly money

Give it time to simmer

Grim Reaper protesting to open scools in Houston

The Universal Phrase

I killed her

I just realized this...

Are Bill Cosby jokes still funny?

The first thing you see after arriving in Finland

Skype called my father during quarantine, this is what I saw when he picked up.

Life these days

Also, your co-workers have a group chat where they talk about you behind your back

I'd be shocked as well

Cries in loneliness

Japanese people are the best at falling asleep.. this happens when we drive ANYWHERE more than 10 minutes.

Driving through a city nearby and came across this little corona, the guy driving has a pretty great sense of humour...

Important things

You can't always be a murder hobo

Please, Be nice...

Join us, Sasha. Be one of us. You know you want to.

So awkward when this happens!

I see a man of culture

I like my nicotine like i like my horoscope.

Italians are screaming

Please just don’t

You'll have to look twice

On The Ledge

The similarities are uncanny

Look same

Its a sign

That would be more convincing

Manual proper working position and Me

When you use reverse uno card

Come on really ???

one day breh <3

Just looking at my schools seniors quotes.

I think my local smokeshop is done dealing with the local trash.

Cross contamination... cross contamination everywhere

Practice safe breathing

I updated my medical ID.

He knew he couldn't take it with him!

When someone asks you how hot it is outside

nowhere is safe

Dave Chappelle and David Letterman randomly sitting in Yellow Springs, OH.

Today I got a kick out of my fortune cookie.

2022 is looking hopeful

Statue honoring those who refused to wear a mask

My dog’s body was cut during a panoramic shot and now I’m wondering if he’s actually an ostrich

It's not wrong!

I never thought of it like this

my mom sent me a funny sloth mug picture she found on instagram. I literally designed it

*** you jason

Shocking Tales of Redundancy

Naturally...

Just moved into my first place away from the parents... Roommate does not pass the vibe check

Jeff Bezos is Lex Luthor

Covid19 measurements make pythagoras turn around in his grave

Legendary if true

The new bathroom signs at work.

IQ 1000

Haha, silly pecker-head!

After Quarantine. We really be messed up after Covid.

My son mixed up the brakes today

How many of you can relate

I know at least one cool furry or maybe he's a brony I don't know

I want Borgar

That's my ideal watch

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

This put a smile on my face.

‍ ‍

My drawing skills. Thoughts?!

Virus Update

reliable Twitter

Used this to propose to my wife

Four

During Covid I did a low budget PhD graduation

Smh

Some nice redneck engineering. They should patent this

We all really had to poo really badly I guess

When American wants to indruduce Czech/German to his beer

from software gore

Just got called out while flipping through my 1995 high school yearbook

madman crossed the alps with brehlephants

wear your mask queen!

The witch trying to run away from Simps

I need a living weighted blanket

he never experienced such technology

It's alright my testicles did the same thing