Reminder that the N-Gage layout looks like the fingers on goatse, including the ring.

Oh man, you sound pretty burned out, and rightfully so. Trying to conform to other people's expectations constantly is really exhausting and will inevitably eat you up. Trying and failing all the time will teach your brain that this is the likely outcome and chip away at your self-worth and replace it with deep shame.

But that's not true, you are not objectively worthless. Definitely not a coward. And painful emotions actually bring an important message that you should listen to and not just "shrug it off".

Have you tried joining some of the more autistic hobbies like tabletop games, LARP or even WH40K? You would find that those people are honest, and usually really nice and accommodating. And those activities might be genuinely fun even if you gain nothing else out of them.

Let's go back to the past with this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxIuZC26hXU

I've been blasting this in my car for a while now.

I've been struggling with internal things again.

One is that I'm still processing my divorce, and how awful of a person I was during the last few years. I've caused so much suffering to someone I loved I want to hit my past self until he's unconscious. But then I do have empathy for that guy... myself... I know _why_ I behaved that way. And this is a huge conflict. What I did is very hard to forgive, but at the same time I had practically no other choice, these were the cards dealt to me. (I was under a wizards curse. And the wizard is my mother). The only thing I can do for now is to not repeat it.

The other is I've been meeting with this girl, in a 'friend' way. She's attractive, and I feel like I want to talk and have fun and just generally be next to her, but there's definitely not going to be a relationship between us for a bunch of reasons. I need to figure out what I even feel about the whole thing. I love hanging out, and I think I'm OK with this being just a friendship, but I just don't know. I'm afraid I will hurt myself again.

Oh and there was a Klangphonics concert yesterday and it was an absolute banger. Definitely recommend.

I heard some countries still have Pepsi Blue. Can I have some of that?

You need to start facing the hard questions. When you want to sit down to write and can't... why is that? What do you actually feel at that moment?
It may turn out to be something you're really not okay with, which will be pretty enlightening if you are willing to entertain it.

Damn dude, that sucks. You should probably keep her no contact, as hard as that is, because this will grind you into a paste.

The guy with the 1$

Forgot joke and pirate parties.
>Inb4 the real joke are the incumbents

It depends. If they are cringe trannies then no. If they are based fembois, they were always welcome.

Please don't remind me of that NATO tweet that practically radicalized me.