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I completely forgot that i told siri that my name is "mother***er" and my jaw dropped when i told her this
My FB friend met Ed O'Neill and the guy behind her can't f*cking believe it
I'm fairly certain my niece is a mandrake.
But loot tho...
Nice try, fortune! Still not gonna try anal...
Great discount!
First Hugelol meetup after the revelation
Why It's Easier to Succeed With Persuasive Marketing Than You Might Think?
My Audi on a 3 year lease, was told I must return under 50k miles or return charges would be applied, they underestimated my madness :)
When allergy season hits
The most redneck wedding in southern history.
Dentist's new car .
Yup. Nailed it!
My wife asked me which way we would go if we were staying in 218 or 219...
College football fans make the best signs.
The Perfect Party Decoration
Dat ass dough
This is a level of self loathing I've never seen before.
Guess we'll skip this house
happy ending doesn't exi....
soon
ᵂᵉ ᵍᵒᵗ ᵗᶦⁿʸ ˡᵃˢᵃᵍⁿᵃ, ᵗᶦⁿʸ ᵖᶦᶻᶻᵃ, ᵗᶦⁿʸ ᵖᶦᵉ
Turns out Veggie People get pretty creepy after a while
This candle is usually found right next to a "Live, Laugh, Love" sign.
Hopefully my morning coffee isnt a sign of things to come.
Everybody fits in this one car??
OH Shit "just act natural"
Hugelol con
Things keep getting curiouser and curiouser.
There you go, I ordered some drinks for everybody
I hope they used their 20% discount flyers
When your food is taking too damn long!
>tfw it's Cory in the House
When you're low key trying to offend everyone on the road.
How you store bread says a lot about you as a person
it's my ***ing time to shine
I picked up a bunch of free boxes from Craigslist. I was surprised but I can't wait to see the moving guys' reaction.
Newspaper headline I thought I would never read..
I didn’t learn this in Drivers Ed.
Huh
The Guam flag looks like the first thing you see if you are being born in Guam.
Tried to do an "artsy" photo shoot with our baby
Fury
It gives 11 AC... I'm using it
A new hero is born
Seems legit I reckon.
The chemicals are turning kid gay
Just found the perfect villain for the next Wonder Woman movie.
This was left on the windshield of a car that is consistently double parked everyday in the parking lot of the complex my office is in.
Lifehax
No witness
When you can't use the bathroom without being bothered by your wife or your son.
ha ha yes
Spotted outside Google's Venice Beach offices
what a coincidence
Working in IT, I can relate
Honk if a kid falls out
i've been so blind
Woke up this morning to my baby turtle asleep like this.
Meanwhile in Booneville, Mississippi...
Protip!
This house.
Relatable
In Canada, we have a show called Cityline, which is mostly attended by middle-aged women. My girlfriend at the time made me go
Human brain
This Kindergartner's assignment on Triangles
These puns are un bee-leiveable
I pay, therefore I exist
My mum tried to tell me Birds weren't animals this is what the internet said
I make custom teapots. This one sold 5 minutes after it was done. :)
Alright, sorry.
Watches for sale.
Super power by 2020
Does your dog bite? Worse, he judges you
Press conference.
I had to do a double take when scrolling through local Triathlon photos.
fish wish
Who's church is it?
You know it girl
The first review of Seinfeld signed by the cast and crew.
Picking Colin Mochrie up from the airport.
Hello there beautiful
New social media craze?
Candy Apple Island
When panorama mode literally turns your mom into an ***
The time has come
That's not a tomato...
My girlfriends dog got bit by a copperhead. Send his goofy swollen face your well wishes!
My wife insists she'll find one he likes
1 million sq km flag
Relatable
You can never be too safe...
Best tatoo cover up
This person on a kids playground
Found in a college text book
Extreme dabbing
I raise you the entire Earth is lava
This girl has had just about enough of her underwear being stolen.
Guess who admins?