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Pay with your blood
This steel grate is so happy it almost makes me wanna smile back at it
Irish Army Knife
Bort and Merge
The Fourth of July
I bought a white board to keep track of my daily tasks. It's going well...
Recently moved here from Europe. Asked some friends what they were doing tomorrow. This couldn't be more accurate.
Every grad student's thinking
Almost didn’t notice this while walking into the men’s room at work.
A dad being a dad at a supermarket
My local police force doesn't get enough credit for keeping scumbags like this off the streets.
Dont forget to pick up after your dog!
My brother has a brain tumor and I played this in cards against humanity
The world is flat!
Hahahah
Parents got this RSVP card to their friend's wedding
The shirt I am wearing to have dinner with my conservative parents tonight.
Wise words on my English teacher's door
This kid was 11 years in the future
Well, *** you, Siri
Gal. 4:16
Praise our humble guides!
At the hair removal place next to my barbershop
Life-altering accidents
State of the Apes
Banner plane that flew over the beach in South Jersey today. There was applause
#rekt
a god is dying
My repairman's pricing model
looks familiar?
Huehuehue
This is why my girlfriend and I use separate toothpaste tubes
I guess we all procrastinate.
Scape
My hometown gas station giving advice to kids for the 4th.
Bought my sister some dinosaur gummies... she sent this pic later
S E N A T E
I Think This Is Accurate
Austria's model of success!
Nerf guns have gotten more powerful since I was a kid....
Connection problems are the worst
Woke up to my lizard looking at me like this...
Something something school shooting
My cactus dabbed
When the patriotism too good
Scapeing
Homer is smart.
Such is life in Mexico
don't die on us stefan
T R E N
"We've NEVER seen a female character like this before!"
This freeway sign today...
My intentions with you too
Sp0n
Unexpectedly, out of no where comes the real joker
July 4th Checklist
You're gonna stand there and own a firework stand, and tell me you dont have any...
I like to leave our giant sock monkey posed for the wife to find. She's never as amused as I am.
Blame it all on Millennials
do not disappoint us son
SPEECH : 100
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My Dad's condiments based on Sodium and Enjoyment
Shrekposting
think before you abort
Chris Chrisco
Why cyclists wear black shorts
Shots firefoxed!
When you're not quite done Bamboozlin'
That's my boi
Knock knock
Found this while helping my 5 year old son clean his room.. He said it's for "just in case."
Flash will crash if he is in rush
He's a HLer
Just magic
You're gonna need 2 Hands
Hood feud!
*** that cute puppy shit
crikey!
Hangin' out
Baugettemarine motha***aaaa
Shrek is love, Shrek is tolerance
How to annoy your wife 2.0. I had to improvise the S when I ran out of sequin pillows. :(
Relatable
no swearing
Girls are always banana cup after they talk with me
My friend's sister-in-law received her new license plates this week. Here is what the DMV sent her...
Searched for pineapples on Urban Dictionary. Wasn't expecting this answer, but really I shouldn't be surprised.
Dogo Please Give Me A Smile ..
How I justify not walking up to girls and asking them out
Star wars action figures are pretty brutal!
I don't think I'll be trying to get my seat back...
Im actually getting a tan this summer!!!
S I T
Chicken nuggets be like my boyfriend
Found in my town's police report...
Not bad on a state trooper's salary.
SPF 1776
it wasn't real communism, lets try again
Taking care of business - Texas style