Check out the name of my pizza delivery guy from last night...

:( Santa?

My new coffee mug

Found this in my dad's spice rack: he's a child of the Depression and can't waste anything, even if he doesn't know what it is.

Yesterday, at my place

Cat expressing its dislike for salad.

Human: Let me take a selfie! Bird: Imma fly like an eagle!

My wife put me in charge of making signs for my sons first birthday party.

It's good to know the difference...

Bamboozled

SpongeBob Cubepants

In The Target Bathroom

UFB

Doctor's appointment

For a year I read this as #1 Dad, but just realized I'm only Dad #1

Who's got a dollar to invest?

Keira Knightley on her boob makeup

This happen when group of best friends meet after long time

First rule of CrossFit is always talk about CrossFit

Eating frozen food may cause cancer

Do it before they wake up

Cannabilism at its finest

Young Man

Doctors hate him

Communism was never tried

Be born again

My friend works at a movie theater and can take the cardboard cutouts. I have an irreconcilable fear of sharks. She decided to use her spare key privileges to terrify me beyond repair.

A short story

Anon wants to be a hacker

We got hit with the tip today

We'd like to talk to you about the Dark Side

Quite the ExXxpert, I would say

I identify as light source

Gourmet

HDL 101

Wage gap explained

Run boy run!

One of the greatest inventions of the 21st century

Antifa in Hamburg right now

What else is big?

I've seen that plate before...

I was not paying attention...

What have you done, human?

What an ironic name for the CEO of "Food for the Poor"

My grandma would've freaked as well

Ironic metro ad

My niece told me that I had to stop watching the Lord of the Rings and watch Doc McStuffins with her

666 The Number of the Beef.

Visiting your bff in hospital.

My wife was away for the day and asked for a picture of our adorable son...

My friend visited Paris recently

Can't make this up.

Googled fat tiger, was not disappointed.

Can star wars fans confirm?

Went out drinking with my daughter tonight. Pleased to report I was able to show her how adults have a sensible, restrained evening without going over the top.

Some people are just awful

JESUS CHRIST! this book doesn't mess

Bamboozled

Anon is ashamed of his soup

This logo....

I laughed too hard at this...

Remember what we are fighting for

Beaker is my spirit muppet

She's so silly sometimes

Roar

My My...

Where'd he go?

Sometimes it's a race car

Something that the most of us still can't face

Overwatch

Finally, a good use for the fidget spinner

I see your race car and your space ship and raise you military grade battle armor.

That fruit lasted like 50 years.

Affirmations and gentle reminders.

Who would have known we'd have such advanced games in 2017

Aunt Irma's visiting

Not you too Soundcloud.. Not you too

Wake me up!

Hobby Lobby employee of the month

Stay out of my territory

I see your race car and raise you a space ship

I don't know what to believe

Take her away and book her

My favorite license plate

codeine dreams and canal moodz

Need a lift

AAAAAAAH OH GOD NO

7 course Irish meal

Damn, Donovan!

I know who's gonna win

Best note all week

What ever floats your goat

Title

paris loves you too

Hope you guys enjoyed the Shitposts

*** stairs

Half-assed reports

When you first started your job vs you at your job now

To be fair my wife did think this paddling pool was suspiciously cheap

5,000 feet not giving af