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My fortune cookie knows I've reached my full potential.
Mario finally catches Bowser.
The new MacBox pro in its natural habitat
I HAVE COME FOR YOUR SOUL
Clearly a dental hygienist.
Old woman uses a marionette of herself to feed squirrels in the park.
My wife at age 6, flowers in a vase
First and last name, and your occupation
Went bowling with my brother today. He asks for the biggest size they have, and the counter guy's response was "I knew this day would come, we've been waiting for you."
I see your No Kids and raise you cats, lots of cats.
quality sign
My mom made me a sandwich for work but my brother saw the note before me
I wish I knew what that said
No matter the time period , parents always could use a nice 5 minute break
Picked up my mom at LAX this weekend!
Proof the moon landing was staged
Little colonial humor
No kids. No husband. No problem.
Guy buries a Nalgene bottle full of Vodka at Randall's Island 3 weeks before Electric Zoo, digs it up & delivers
Yes, but were they selfies?
Another gem at Goodwill!
"Come here often?"... looks like my dogs trying to hit on someone at a bar
Harvested some carrots
Classic Tumblr
The U
Optimus Spaghettus
Anon hit a feel
god knows whats up
I want to die
Bud Lightyear
Body acceptance.
The redeemer
Bravo avocado
saudis be like
No parents.
AirB&B host told me to be sure to lock the front gate.
I'll just rub this blue shit on the tip.
On Point!
She knows how to live
Horslatable
Difficult difficult.
The label is in just the right place.
The summer intern was asked to make a sign apologizing for closing early.
I am the master of change
cat
When panorama shots go wrong.
Poor headline placement on CNN
owie
Why women live longer than men
When the house floor is heated in winter...the cat is enjoying
Where's my stabbin' knife!?
Yeah Life Hacks!
Cameo Stan Lee is at it again
So our fridge is covered with blackboard paint.
How drunk white girls emphasize their point in a argument
It's even more fun over the phone...
I just noticed if you make your eyes blurry you can read it.
dog
Pirates arr humans too you know
ESRB doin sumtin right
nani!
huehuehue
Its September already?
Mine is Polar Bear
No wonder this car wash place is so popular...
cRaWlInG iN mY sKiN
______________________________________
Hope for the future
My best tag sale find yet
I'm going to reuse this format later.
Something's strange in this neighborhood
View of my apartment pool today
The Mortiest Morty and the Pickliest Rick! DragonCon 2017
Siri and his puns...
Imagine Bear Grills saying this
I surprised my wife for her birthday
Call the priest
I can't believe it...I'm on a band aid box!
I bet he's good at tetris
Owen wants to be a NINJA!
They say money can't buy happiness...false, happiness costs $5.
Thief
Adobe Photoshop
So....who wrote this book?
Just a couple of white guys at the craft store
What sort of wizard is this?
This Restaurant Really Knows How to Treat Their Customers
You can't forget about accidental long arm guy
"Huge sale. *** you."
Good Mornng
My local auto shop doles out a harsh truth.
Ole Barry
Good guy Hooters.
Never lose your car again
How to handle the parking problem
There are some indications of animosity between two of my neighbours.
I teach 8th grade in Florida and had to teach a state mandated bullying lesson. This was a slide I had to go over with them.
My daughter found out what happens when you hit the red button.
Where are you going to dump that?
Actually, just my type.