I was feeling good about myself, and then I had to go and have another fortune cookie

"Near Misses Throughout History"

Tom Haverford, the Ultimate wing man

Apparently Stewie Griffin works at my hospital....

California problems

CAAARRL

The vet did a perfect job capturing our animals personalities on their ID tags.

I hope they don't notice

I asked my dad to make me a wallpaper, this is what he sent me...

ａｓｔｈｅｔｉｃ　Ｓ　Ｈ　Ｅ　Ｌ　Ｄ　Ｏ　Ｒ

"Listen. You is kind. You is smart. You is important..."

They change so fast

Literature

This pic I took of my dog looks like a crime scene photo.

My girlfriend thought this was an accurate description of me. I'll have to explain to her when I see her later why she's wrong.

Two tickets to Atlanta please :v

Struck by the divine light ...

Interesting flyer

Higher level casting: Thot Protection

I thought something smelled funny on the road today

Apple revealed they worship the Many Faced God

things that go bump in the night

Dad's method to guarantee responsible driving

iPhone X...

Catholic grandma

Pranke'd

Whenever Apple announces a new iPhone, all I can think of is this.

If traps are gay then...

Can someone explain me why this is gay ?

He was just hungry

Spotted in my institution's natural sciences building.

Attack on car insurance

How brave of you

My father in law told my nephew he would buy him an Xbox when he learns to ride a two wheeler. Not getting it today.

The smell of whiskas awakens an ancient evil

My girlfriend saw this "Prius" on her commute yesterday.

White pple trynna pull sht

Powerful video

** Autistic screeching**

Leave me alone

Best NO PARKING symbol

damn foreigners

Me too

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Just u wait....

Mars Rover = $800 Million; Team to Operate = $1 Billion; Drawing a Dong on The Surface of Another Planet = Priceless.

A no BS approach to getting rich quick.

Ted has the right to explain himself

The most Australian out of service tag

we all I.T down here

Before Tinder

They're not dick pics, they're..

Hard maths

The Giant Quacken has been defeated

And that's how we get a camel

Relatable

Women Empowerment!!!

The police log when you live in a small town.

Historic moment

I love this friend.

All-natural umbrellas are the best

When the hotel staff has your back

Jerry finally landed his dream job

Ain't seen nothing truer..

get out

The photo lab at my local Walmart

Two Monks...

There is a really good chance I would reach in there

The new artworks positioning at our local Skate Country is slightly questionable...

Count to ten

When she changes her BIO to Single

Sorry, I only watch pronoun movies.

Hsssssshitpost

The most legit billboard I've ever seen.

Pabst knew I'd spend the last of my cash on beer rather than food. No worries though! They threw in a bonus!

Hey cedric if you think the circlejerk is bad what about this?

For my sister's 20th birthday

You can't see him!

In Birdperson culture that is considered a dick move

That time they posed for a great father and son work pic - but didn't put any tools in the tool belt.

The Ideal Nation

Best Captain

Doesn't look like my sort of fun

Girlfriend took a pregnancy test and sent me this...

DiCaprison

I knew she looked familiar

N-Team

My friend and his dad got separate Uber's from the same place, to the same place. Spot the difference.

That's what is missing

Finally...

Best way to get past Apple's new facial recognition on the iPhone X

How my family handled Irma.

Fishing for compliments

Miami is a Mario Kart track now

My dog is...special. Somehow he got the floor vent stuck to his collar...rip'd it off the floor then walked around like this was normal.

Never thought about it this way

Ladies, your new uniforms are — oh for god's sake

She's going for the whole squad

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If you eat the Devils corn, you will choke on his cob.