Prepare to be judged, human.

Horrible freaks

What?

I don't remember this one.

My friend's son, in his backyard garden, thought he was playing with removable "chalk spraypaint". He was not.

every time I meet a girl

Either way

My Mormon co-worker finds it funny when people ask if he has multiple wives . So for his Christmas card this year, he decided to commit to the bit to freak people out.

Always in HD.

They told me to decorate my office for Christmas

Watching Bitcoin

Emailed my grandparents a photo, found it framed a few months later.

How to blind your girlfriend.

Oh that’s good—honey biscuits?

The last time I forgot to feed my cats, I had 3 cats.

M’Lighter

My friend’s cat saw snow for the first time today.

Someone has been stealing Pokémon cards at our Dollar Tree and the manager posted this in response:

Every rapper in 2018

My parents garage door magnets spelled “Mary Christmas” before I came home

Absolute prostate cancer

Yup. That's definitely the guy I was thinking of.

*Stores jewish gold*

This phone book of Ketchum, Idaho.

Took a picture of my cat before and after being fed

This is how you run one of the world's biggest buisnesses

Wtf Kent?

Interacting with ducks: Rule 1

Now THAT'S a selfie.

Mega rekt

Helped mum at a theatre where she's working, I was allowed to keep this beauty

Touhou Otters

Visiting Santa

This fox has seen some shit

My mom would have never signed that permission slip.

I just got my Cards Against Humanity day three gift. I had a good chuckle and thought you all might enjoy the thoughtful letter.

He thought she wanted to shake :(

The most American bumper sticker ever!

Describe your life with a webm

Hahahaha got you guys so bad

It snowed in Texas last night. Here’s what the traffic message boards told us.

Sounds like someone has a rusty ground harness

Its my coworker's last day so we made a pillow for the office to remember him by. He wasnt happy.

This picture is what comes up when you type "Sexual Predator" on Google.

When the media can’t even agree on saving a rabbit...

What happens when you show your uncle Photoshop. Still a classic

Classic case of mixed feelings

David Blaine after a trick

Pepe Le Pew fired from Warner Bros Amid Alleged Sexual Harassment Allegations

Here goes my account

Angry girlfriend

Let's get it over with already

My mother would be very disappointed

I work at a photography store in Norway. This was our Christmas card this year.

Leave me alone

You are Powerless

1... 2...

My girlfriend left me a note.

guess he'll die...

Photo of the year potential right here.

This is physically possible though.

Director's Cut

Santa looking like hes gonna risk it all. at Christmas

True art

That reply

SLOWEST READER EVER!!!

My dad passed away in late October. This is what i found when i was going through his computer.

Southern California

Wheezing intensifies...

Shrekt

Old af

I think I entered the twilight zone at Tim Hortons.....

I turned 40 yesterday and I have a stomach ache.

stay woke

My wife and I went retro for our Christmas card portrait this year.

I told you, man, follow the nose.

I would love to see the critical failure

Not at all heroes wear capes

My wife and I don't agree on how to decorate a tree. 4 years ago we started this as a joke and it is still going strong.

As an Asian, this can at work telling me to 'crose rid' was quite insulting

Elevator in Mike Tyson's house.

THIS IS A RISK I'M WILLING TO TAKE!!!

Still one of my all time favorites

Passed by the best Christmas decoration I've ever seen while on my way to work

Taught GF my hobby of finding accidentally funny license plates. She just sent this. So proud

I actually dont know, Boats?

In the Netherlands the most annoying word of 2017 is gender neutral

For my money, it has to be racecar

facial

The Simpsons predicted the end of Fox

This man looks like a cross between Brad Pitt and Elijah Wood

Y'all know how the Slavs make music with a tap?

Snow”man”

I think Youtube overestimated my income

learnt

Not all superheros are born the same way.

Jason Momoa decided to check out a local basketball game last night. The woman in the back is a little smitten.

It works

Im coming out of my mini retirement only to post greentexts, no normie posts, no webms, just texts

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