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When you got a formal dinner at 5 but army training at 6
:thinking:
This is how an Italian retaliates against scooter-asses
gottem gud
Relatable
I let her paint my nails cause she digs it, but this day I couldn't stop farting to save my life.
Wasn't really planning on it
DON'T LOOK
z u c c
You are a cool guy, dont come tomorrow
Gisus
Rookie move Slagathor.
There's two kinds of cat...
I'm having second thoughts about filling my prescription...
Sign at my local liquor store
End goal for +$100K in debt
Sophisticated edge, the best kind of edge
Asking the important questions about bed frames.
.... ah, crap
Well Thank-You !!
Very inspiring! Do not ever forget it!
Minions of Darkness
Another reason why I'm not sure my in laws like me. My stocking is not only separate from theirs, it is on the other side of the furniture.
Killing time at the airport and all of the sudden...
So this happened last night...sorry Wendy’s
You play good boy and I play human
Finally! An honest yard sign
Muhahahahaha hip hop take over
All I want is your company
Damn router
Tell me the last thing you stuck your finger in.
Nobody calls them that. Not one person.
Some of the students from our school got locked in the court yard by accident and couldn’t get back in. This was their solution.
I patched the hole in my door
Annnnddd now it's stuck in my head.
“Would you like to name your personalised stocking?”
Somebody regrets their decision
Latest Internet Policy
Ancient evil wants a treat
Is that Tina from Bob's Burgers off to the right?
Milf is short for Milfionaire
You don't know how to use a tape measure?
This has been circulating in my Discord
Ah yes, THAT episode
How dare they touch the clothes to use the dryer!
Was kind of hoping for a fortune, but that works too.
Stephen forgets that he isn’t on the Internet
"Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit." - The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
You ain't a train
Doctor Strange’s lesser known origin story.
In addition to a kids menu, my local dive bar also has a gender and species neutral bathroom
soup
Time to move out...
French ads are terrifying
What goes around comes back around
Parking advice
This house looks like an Orthodox Jew.
Jopost
Do it
Day 16 : Michael sure knows ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Updated for 2018
Nicest Mom or Incest Mom?
Define your role
In the East Orient, born and raised...
Don't worry California, I got you
Google can be funny sometimes
"My grandma got a label maker"
The answer is right there
RIOT WITH ME!
When you show up to a fight and bring your boys with you
...
Don't worry, you can still get service...for money
I hope I'm this cool when I grow up
Came Wit The Posse
ben is a hoe
Apparently you can request a visit from Mormon missionaries. And I thought someone might like to make some new friends...
Found this flyer near my apartment. And I thought it was my cat eating all of the arachnids...
i think i missed my stop
No longer do I need to wonder, woman.
We need an updated version for 2018.
Just keeping it real
Ah Roger, my kinda guy
eyy
Tip jar at my local pizza joint
This mug from the University of North Texas
No joke. She fought through it for a full minute before bringing it to us and saying the tooth paste was gross.
"Monty Python Life Of Brian is still relevant today"
Here’s my ticket, don’t wake me....
Bad boys, bad boys
Comcast knows how to get my wallet out
The *** son of Jon Snow and Sam Tarly
When tea is too hot, but you are an engineer
Fairy tales can come true
Grandma's Christmas ornaments
Sofa king hilarious
My British friend just sent me this.
Was just behind this winner
i hope this meme dies soon
He must be tired
Condoms prevent minivans