My fortune cookie has either seen or done some shit.

Cartoons paused at the right moment

Let us never forget: 2018 kicked off with Steve Harvey’s amazing cosplay of McGruff the Crime Dog

Samuel L Dogson

That’s that I guess

S W O L E

When your wife's NYE dress can change colors

Hardcore dieting in 2017 lowered my poop count

i miss him

My late uncle flipping the bird to my dad on their Christmas card

Solid Snake

When all your friends were killed on the Death Star

/me/

Trumps wives were immigrants

New Year's Day

I don't care how much I have to pay for boneless watermelon, it's worth it.

When Mother Nature doesn’t give a *** about how hung over you are

What is gif

When you pull up to the "Random Security Check" at the airport with a UNO reverse card.

Watch out for snakes !

The earth is not flat guys

Eat your broccoli!

When your girlfriend chooses a movie

Sighted in Epsom, England.

Good ol William.

Good at flirting lol

get your hands off my spaghet

A few snacky bois

Voldemort is weak as ***

zoink

A little slower please

Snakes have evolved

***ing dropped him...

The all-American element of surprise

A good way to start the year

Thanks, Comcast.

I didnt believe that!

The Food line ups.

Fidget

stay warm folks!

Now I can’t listen to this correctly ever again

Wait? What?

Buddy showed up to a NYE wearing the same thing as a stranger who had the same exact tattoo.

My wife’s big hat and swimming noodle made her look like Darth Vader.

Remember the fibre

Everyone in California in a couple of hours

Google SkyNet

Bein PC, ain’t easy

Here's to another lousy year.

Oh boy a new year! How's this one gonna go?

Merry Birthday World

Steve Harvey looking like inspector gadget

Good Job! We're all so very proud.

This gun safety class doesn’t seem very safe

Mother nature can go *** itself.

My professor gave his kids a bit too much bubbly

So Australia's national TV coverage of Sydney's NYE fireworks had subtitles

Happy New Year Lt. Dan!

I thought this show was for kids...

No one showed up for my wife's New Year's Eve party ☹️ so she made a sign.

Happy new year everybody!!!!

You thought it was an oil-painting? Look again!!

Happy New Year, children!

Mr. Meeseeks is a good symbol for 2017.

well....life's tough

My 7 year old sister loves dinosaurs but my parents got her a dollhouse for Christmas. This is what I came home to tonight...

Accidentally googled Mass effect ansari instead of asari. Wasn't dissapointed.

Movies to show your kids

I must resist

When you smoke weed for the first time

She wants to sit on the stairs but they're no longer carpeted so she just stands there and softly whines.

Did they get a sex change as well?

The ambiance sucked

Nicolas Cage

We got a pet cam for Christmas that also has “dog tv”. It plays music and pictures of other dogs. She’s been watching for a while now. She’s turned into a hooman.

TFW you chirp so hard you ruin a relationship

The Real MVPs

Sex shop sign

Lyft drivers doing anything for 5 stars

This plane is departing from New Zealand in 2018, will land in Hawaii in 2017.

Strobbery

From a sell-and-swap Facebook group.

Grateful

This speed limit sign knows what’s good ;)

Quick Maffs

Canadian Uber

My mom is driving to georgia and just sent me this pic of an injured hawk she found on the side of the road. She loaded it up in her car and is meeting the rescue guy.

Kumail Nanjiani got no chill

Sex options on sign up for forum

We were warned...

This van decor I was driving behind

Happy New Year Japan!

Crime Scene High Jinks

I’m broke!

enjoy and laugh

He needs a new shirt!

New Years Eve

My wife about to chop onions

How i celebrate new years

It’s a little colder in Michigan then we thought....