My more realistic laundry load size choices...

Parents asked me to house sit for them while they're out of town, I sent them this today.

Library help desk

...I think I'm gonna use the stall

He is not impressed

Art for winter

Maynard J. Keenan from Tool was asked if the wine he sold was vegan. He replied with this picture...

yes

don't mind me just chilling

Fav ASMR :)

Rush B, cyka

yes

an ad you can trust

You could say my dog misses the snow

Y'all gonna make me post a graph

Was walking my dog down this road. The house creeped me out, but the posibility of a peace treaty via drinking beer together intrigues me...

Isn’t history fascinating!

Playboy is for everyone

What a selfless guy

Questionnaire

Save the turtles

She fell asleep during Jumanji. No one woke her up.

Pie-ramid chart

haha nice meme

gotta take every chance to show your wideness

What happens when you have free time as a 3D artist

KITTIES

HOME RUN!

One Sentence, 2 movies.

the earth is not flat

Real world applicable skills

Guess I won’t be able to use it

It’s already too late

So meta.

It's possible to feel lonely in a crowd

Mosquito, meet your doom

When reality kicks in

Sounds like a fun place to work

Dad knows best

My friend was interviewed on local news today resulting in the station tweeting my all time favorite typo.

Bag of Flour

Well it is too cold to play basketball...

Beautiful Radio

Modern day Woodchuck rhyme

Join the Prussian raid now!

This has been a good start of the year, Gott mit uns!

Sounds like Australia to me

Are you there Margaret? It's me, God

Production level 1000000

The most unexpected way of dying.

I know when I’m not welcome.

2 spaget

The worst place to put an advertisement in a newspaper?

yes

Don’t be too excited

Vibrate: On

I call it Hahn Solo

I guess I will have to add “cactus” to the list of things I don’t want flying at my face during a car crash.

I’ve had this on my phone for at least 2 years...

Not the hero we deserved nor the hero we needed. Yet here he is.

Die Antwoord looking normal as hell

first meme

The most diverse actor in the world!

Me as a father.

These women are national treasures

I don’t think I want to see this demo

I’m Going To Leave This Rrriiiggghhhttt Here.....

Are we gonna put Otto into every meme format like we did with Ugandan Knuckles?

Ｂ　Ｅ　Ｇ　Ｏ　Ｎ　Ｅ　　Ｔ　Ｈ　Ｏ　Ｔ

Me when I can't hear someone

Anyone else sit in a 2 hour meeting about nothing today?

Drunk AF

Who needs protein shakes when you have this sweet nectar?

“Oil on Canvas.”—Anonymous artist, circa 2017

Tea bagged by a bull

Buying a house in Canada

Karen choir

Trendy

AAA Locked Out

When you order chinese and they slip an egg roll in there for free

Pretty sure my 6-year-old’s final end goal this year is to kill me

facts

Updated Four Horsemen of Apocalypse

Wife and I worked at home today in separate rooms. My live-in mother had errands to run. This is how I enticed my wife with sex.

Title is too short.

he is not a hedgehog

CNN just aired this for a full minute

What’s your superpower? I am rich.

Guns & Sand Club

Getting caught

Never let your dreams be dreams.

I’m no theologian, but that seems suspicious.

Facebook principles in real life

New H&M collection is truly supreme

Pain

wait no

Keeping the cat downstairs

good

A joke 5 years and $40,000 in the making

I went to the dentist, and...