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None of the parenting books I read warned me that my daughter would turn into The Undertaker when she tried to fall asleep
Chance of getting the job? Absolute zero.
:notlikethis:
The essentials
I can’t wait for humans to explore earth!
It’s been a rough semester
our
NANI?!
dick
The best translation you will ever read
The DAMN reflection she said
2Me8IRL
Infinity War: How it should have ended
Not sure if I should be offended or amused
My community college said it best....
Upvote for respect
That's interᴱsting
The Electrical Cables Have Spoken
Surprised it wasn't a Florida man
Asking real questions
Hello darlin’
Woke up in the middle of the night to a notification that my security camera detected motion. Cue instant heart attack.
Cats; The best way to teach your kids actions have consequences
Only Guys understand this
Get rekt'd mother
This picture hidden behind the toilet paper at a maintenance shop.
Murica
Saalt n Peprr.
I’m late to work...
And it always happens when something is burning on the stove
J U S T ᴰ ᴼ ᴵ ᵀ
Took this photo of my girlfriend and our cat tonight...
Teachers in Arizona on strike? The local strip club has got you covered!
Keep his name out your mouth
You’ve been roasted by, a smooth criminal
+100 style
Insta***
We've incorporated it into our lovemaking...
Cyclist signs in Germany
Clearly my dog loves her birthday present
The karate crotch windmill
The biggest crime ever!
If you Google Translate Monty Python's "Killer Joke" from German to English, Google dies.
Cheap date
I don’t remember Peter Rabbit being this intense.
Waffles
Press conference
I’m a secretary on a hospital unit today, we’ll see how long I can do this.
Dogs : Then vs Now
To make things clear.
Don’t let your dreams be dreams.
Dwayne “The Bach” Johnson
Where the pizza cuts itself
I love messing with Craigslist Scammers. They offer to purchase my items with fake checks, so I have them send me fake checks.
Something's not right..
Bruno you tease
Would take this to my ex's wedding party.
Waiting for the professor to post your grade but you already know you failed
I like this Airport Terminal so much that I took a photo of myself in line waiting for my plane.
A cause I can support
Part 1 : AWAKEN MY SHITPOSTERS
Not for weak hearts
What's red, bubbly and taps on glass?
Striking Resemblance
Resovolution
Transformation Tuesday...
One way to make sure parents keep their children with them
You got me there
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You haven't eaten pizza until....
Must have been watching CSI
The Doctor doesn’t do guns
Meta même from the future
Dominoes delivery instructions for the win
Lumber Jack
I'm Ned and I'm Bed
Beautiful sce-
ᵂʰᵃᵗ?
Hippo Jokes
You wouldn't pirate a house
Rethinking Taxonomy
My friend texted me today with what I like to call... evil brilliance!
Important lessons about laundry and life
Finally know the founding fathers true intentions
Better start hidin' boy
انا انا
Aussie’s dogs ain’t vegans bois!
Still got the cancers
WHO’S THE FATHER SHELLY?
My Dad asked his accountant brother to help with his taxes...
Drake is going hands-free in Austin...
I don't see a downside
When the drugs start wearing off and you realize what you've done...
They forgot the ad that appears over the whole screen.
I was disappointed only a few people got my shirt at a recent 5k.
Parents make mistakes too.
Arrrrr!
Im gonna make everyone gay now
My grandma thought this was hilarious
What is this sorcery??