Burning calories

My life will never be as interesting as this guy thinks his is

Find a cure!

True! My Rosie is my best friend!

I bought a roll of these. Day 1 of 500.

Take me home

Ask your dad

Party crasher

Savage mode activated.

I’m sorry Jim...

Thare you go

Job is vacation

My husband bought me a mannequin to sell clothes on Poshmark and our kids are terrified of it and insist we cover it with a blanket because its less scarier....i have to disagree

I don't know who to trust anymore.

Who said I want to live?

Barbara you suck at your job

Quality of chocolate

I remember when I was your age

When you're walking in the park and an animal has a side quest for you

I wear this when I'm feeling cheeky

People: What's it like working as a mechanic? Me:

the man in red is using 'The Force' to stop the bat.

Busy cat..

Never forget

This kids menu at the hotel I’m staying at

I threw a tennis ball, he brought back a crab apple. Close enough, I guess.

I’m tyred

Respek

cursed

"What Day Is It?" Asked Pooh

Nice Dong

Aww...

Hey guys, we know.

Relatable

I was in a public restroom when I discovered this sacred rune...

My best mate’s wedding pictures came back and I don’t come off well here

I said I tried

Stranger things kids seem to handle the hosts well..

It's a f*ckin crowbar

Top Gear was Great!

I miss his smile

Probably more true now than it even was two years ago when it was drawn...

When pub staff T-shirts go wrong.

My four year old son brought his new Leatherface mask on the hike yesterday. Looks like he’s ready to wreak some havoc on the valley below.

Need to get fit?

Oh... thanks U-Haul

*Cries in japanese*

Why not both?

My chilli came with a handy clip so that it can be worn with elegance.

Straight

don't let dreams be dreams !

At least I'm wearing socks

Entry level

Close the gate!!!

FREEEEZE! IM A COP!

This place has everything

Commas matter, people

Why I am still a virgin....

Capitalism meets sarcasm

Thought of this after seeing the news

easily avoidable enemies

Please tell me I wasn't the only one

Flat-earthers, that’s what you’ll see tonight

Beware of me

I'm mind blown

the seedy back backstreets of California

Holdin it down for the record

About damn time Karen got out of her abusive, one-way relationship with Plankton, I support her 100%

Poképosting

G-spot

Not the hero we want, but the hero we need

The Name's Bond........... James Richardson

So superficial

Everybody will find love you just have to look in the right place

Call it a hunch, but I think Barbara isn't good at her job

And Sauron is sitting on my throne..

Oh know

I’m not sold, but I’m curious

Burned!!

Snarky birthday

Glormph will never survive this one

Rescue shark.

Bold of you Mr Burglar

yeah why did he?

Downvoted

You can't trust anyone these days...

Relatable

My favourite movie of all time also best quote of all time

I thought y'all might appreciate this upright bass

I’d like to shake hands with whoever did this

I’ve never been so offended lmao

Life after playing Spider-Man

I can relate to this on every level

This year in a nutshell

I know its a repost, but ya'll need to hear it from time to time.

Ya fool

The aftermath of my wife getting ready for the day. And I get in trouble for leaving the toilet seat up.

I do this far too frequently

Come back to me

I Want...