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I have been using it wrong all this time.
Children love him!
Tastes like chicken?
The dog park is really going downhill.
“ducking”
Merry Christmas from the Congo!
I didn’t realize my wife left the kids’ presents in the car until I checked the rear view mirror.
That’s really true as hell.
My girlfriend is taking this hosting Christmas thing a bit too far...
Kids menu at Lucky's Coffee Shop
Got my Christmas Present early this year
She: did you pull it out early enough? He: yes i think so
And a happy new year
Real Friends
Juniper got cold on the way to daycare
Typical
Made me pause
We told our 9yo son he had to justify why we should get a hamster. Here is his proposal.
Christmas is a time for welcoming everyone.
Gift I received...wrapped in a such a way that it appears as if Linus and Patty are getting it on in front of Marcie.
First encyclical - De Memeticus
We should expect everything
*carnivorism intensifies*
The lawyer who recently got nunchucks legalized in New York
true valor
Florida's a fun state. Merry Christmas everybody
This cat is having none of it.
Their true power only shows agaisnt themselves
Burnt 2772 calories today morning.. Feeling very good!
This message sign in Arizona today...
Risky
Undercover officer combats porch pirates
Either someone stole the ‘J’ or my Jewish neighbors have a sense of humor.
Squirrely dog
Post
Lots of love to give.
I don't think he liked it
When fashion meets functuon
Her career choices allowed for nun of that
no wait
Zoom in on the names.
How To Comeback 101
My favorite gift card
Cool!
Broke school system
Tob's favorite part going to the vet is sitting in this sink
My friend likes you...
BLT is the best sandwich
Hero’s don’t always wear capes.
nothing like the simulations
The Vacuum of Terror
She goes to another school!
awww a friend
omg
And they talk for hours...
spooked
You know what I call guys like you?
Disgusting behaviour
Good ps skills tho
My excuse every time I don’t shower
Someone please
What the hell Karen, what did you do with my kids?!
The pilots can't fly when it's too warm.
This is what our Santa wants
Wanna see?
My new favorite thing to do with spam texts
Learning Fibonacci sequence
I scream from when I wake up till when I go to bed even then I keep screaming.
When I lose something my wife always has me retrace my steps. I thought it would make a funny cartoon. Hope you like it.
When your kid asks for a switch for Christmas
Big dick energy
Anyone else who laughs at this is my new bff
Elf on a Shelf is wildin’
I'm proud that I didn't miss the moment
City
Bruh you ok
Hmm, well according to Google...
That’s true
Hail Octonauts
Pretty in heels
He so sexyyy...
Just a quick shout out
Steve Buscemi looking like Macauley Culkin in maybe 7 rough years
Terminator 2
Just saw this movie again
Rewind it
I googled “fat starfish” I wasn’t disappointed
I’m in
Not to rat out on Crisp Rat’s dad...
Happy Holidays from Clarkson, Hammond and May
Someone decided to submit the photo of Mickey Rourke and Axl Rose for the “birthdays and anniversaries” announcements for our local news station.
Solomon
The plant cells.
To all our Mexican brothers and sisters
A tense situation
I like my lungs how I like my ribs..smoked
Water, water, everywhere, and every drop is hogs.
Words of wisdom!
My wife absolutely hates with a dark seeded passion, Nicholas Cage.
How to deal with life’s disappointments