Chihuahua gone with the wind

“Someone tried to unlock your phone”

My Dad hit a sprinkler dead on with one of his drives today at a local golf tournament. He's in the blue shirt

Rise up

Nice try Decepticon.

I don't know where to even start

Recieved this in my change today... the word 'boner' hasn't made me laugh this hard in a long time. Thank you, you vandalizing stranger.

My god there’s more

Working in someone's house wondering why the cat kept staring at me. Ten minutes later noticed it was a bag of food.

Just think about all the treasures we'll find

this is how fake news happen

Ad hits the nail on the head and made me do some soul searching. I've decided to eat my dog

God Damned Millennials...

Squidward is a man of culture

Incognito.

That’s the spirit!

Believe me, I tried.

Corporate wants you to tell the difference between the two pictures.

*mission impossible theme intensifies*

And does he wear pants?

Y w

Only 40s BC kids will understand...

"Theft Proof" hand bag -- most men can't locate the zipper.

Sack up

Looks so delicious.

Just don’t feed him

My 4 year old niece can't read and bought me this birthday card because it featured 'a cute dog with a party hat'

Well I guess it does

I had to make my cat his own tampon toy so he stop stealing mine from the trash

Featuring: insomnia

My wife put the old filter on her baby photo and I can’t stop laughing at “baby grandma”

Top Gun 2 Mystery Solved?

Oof

Yeah no...

Why i don't wear jeans

Hold my diet coke.

Nobody explain

Still in my feels about this.

Schools these days smh

Best Christmas song

They speak the truth tho

its the new comic sans

This sign I found at a godfathers pizza restaurant.

Meow sounds?

Let me mansplain how flawed your sexiest chairs are

Handy flowchart for Total Eclipse of the Heart

Was playing around with the Jaws 2 poster during a smoke break and some random goober walking by said I should “turn that frown upside down.”

Meta

Its just waiting to die

I read it wrong too...

He's got you there

GOTTEM

Nobody expects the ~~Spanish Inquisition~~ shit like this

How doughnut holes are made

Has the US military gone soft??

Somebody tried to divide by zero right in this place

Mlem Mlem Mlem

i care not to care

Spooder

Relationship goals

Sex doll > family

Instructions

Super Size Me!

Found deep in my camera roll, hope it’s not a repost

Relax. It’s just a small surgery.

door instructions

Speed isn't always key

Found this at my office. Surely it serves consolation.

Stonkboi

Abducted.

I wonder how

Benny needs to take a hint.

When all you wanna do is take a good picture

A little joke from Disney

pro advice for aspiring teachers

He done it now

Furry hates

My pregnant wife sent this to me at 2:12am this morning. I'm going to guess that my snoring was quite bad last night.

Heartwarming.

Officer POOP

Too perfect

until they take your whole wardrobe

"I'm just a Poe Boy."

Hoo ha

Durable and Absorbent

Sing at my favorite local gas station.

Two Hours That I’m Never Getting Back

*** it, I’ll start my own country

Its for sure reliable

Welp - at least something in common

The name brings success.

“THIS IS FOR NEUTERING ME, BECKY”

Keanu Con

Duck duck ANAL

My local science centre rocks.

Sign at my local dollar store

My soul animal

Unfortunately, incorrect

Literally every time I post and it dies in new

I used to want to move to Australia.....then my buddy sent me a picture of his porch and it was so much nope